Kakahead

Something is very very wrong here…

Last week the Supreme Court overturned the ban on political spending by corporations.

Is that cool or what??

Having been on the planet for 55 years, nothing much surprises me anymore.  As a boy I was taught that elected officials were supposed to be working for US, not for big money.  Silly me; little did I know…  The longer I get to hang out on Planet Earth, the more labels like politicians, corporate executives, corporate board members, special interest groups, and mobsters seem to mean the same thing.

Being the idealist that I am, I started to feel pretty good about electing a president who advocated change.    Don’t get me wrong; I never assumed that the new guy was going to be able to reverse a few centuries of greed and corruption in four years.  Then again, we have to start SOMEWHERE, don’t we?

Please?

Last thing we need is for corporations to have even more political clout.  God knows we already have way too much corporate everything bombarding us from all sides.   The influence has been woven into the fabric of western culture.  And what is Number One with all too many corporations?  Well money of course.  People are not valued for who they are but for how they perform.  Sure, our immediate peers are not generally in this boat; I’m talking about the executives and the board.  The ones who really run the place.  To illustrate:  remember the “old days” of work when you first hired in, or if you had a matter concerning you or your family?  You would go to the Personnel department.   That term is obsolete, and has been replaced with “human resources.” So what, I’m not a person anymore?  No.  Not according to the company.  I’m an asset with a first and last name.  At least that’s how it feels quite often.  Rare is the company executive or corporate board that actually treats their “human resources” like family.

Another example:  corporate names are being assigned to buildings, places, and events.   Here in Michigan, Tiger Stadium has been replaced by Comerica Park.  We used to go to concerts at Pine Knob; a power company has renamed  the place after themselves:  The DTE Energy Music Theater.  All over the country, the names of stadiums and parks are having their old names dumped in favor of corporate monikers.  Football games are played on artificial fields with huge commercial messages painted on the fake turf.

OK that’s enough…

So maybe if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.  Huh???  No, I don’t really mean that.  I think we all need to buy locally (from Fred the honey guy or Zelda the baking lady) and act globally.  But if the changing of names of sports venues, etc. is going corporate, why not rename our pets or even our kids?

“Honey, I need to go to the store, do we need anything?”

“Yeah babe, Alcoa needs his diaper changed and we’re all out.  Also I bet your daughter wants to go with you.”

“OK Almond Joy, give mom a big Hershey’s Kiss and let’s get going.  When we get back, we’ll find the leash and take Chrysler for a walk through the Town and Country.”

“Ha ha Dad, you’re so funny.  We can’t walk through the Town and Country…  Oh wait, maybe if we open both sliding doors… but that’s not a very long walk.”

“I know, just checking to see if you’re paying attention.  But let’s get a move on, the Exxon Comedy Hour is on tonight and I’d like to be back inside by then.  After that we can Google up something else to do on the computer maybe.”

Sad thing about that silliness is the term “Google” is gaining favor in our daily vocabulary already!

I’ll remain the idealistic tree hugger  / farmers market shopper / home veggie grower guy;  in spite of my job in manufacturing.  And yes, I am very grateful to have a job.  I‘m fortunate, I get treated very well by my boss, my boss’s boss, and my boss’s boss’s boss.  I don’t mind being a worker ant.

But the priorities of capitalism really sadden me at times, and I pray often that we humans don’t completely destroy this beautiful planet the Great Spirit gave us.

So here’s another toy… I found a video of an old song I fell in love with the first time I heard it.  It says a few things about where we might end up if we abandon all care and place money first.  Again, I apologize to my friends with dialup internet:  unless you are very patient you may not want to harm yourself by clicking on the video.

Being over 50 has advantages:  skills are honed over a long period.  In other words you get good at doing stuff, whether it’s cooking, gardening, computers or whatever.  And for me at least, as I get older I’ve come to learn my limitations on various things at which I’m not so good.

There was a time when I was really certain that if I only had the correct information; I could fix anything.  That of course included things with internal combustion engines.  Talk about your inflated ego… not a healthy place for me to be.  Fortunately though, I have long since come to understand that there are many things which are really better left to professionals.  I’ve learned my limitations.

I really have no clue about how to fix a lot of the stuff on things with gasoline motors.  Sure, I can do routine stuff like change the oil, and with smaller engines like the garden tractor or rototiller I can even change a spark plug and a drive belt here and there.  But if I have to get down and dirty with the guts of the engine, I call in the big boys.  I take them to the shop.

And with cars, forget about it already.  I change the oil, change the air filter, fill the washer fluid change the wipers.  Oh and I can keep the tires pressurized.  Other than that, we go to the shop.

So there I was, checking out the snowblower where our son lives and the stupid thing will only run when the choke is on.  Not very wonderful.  Even when it did run it would poop out easily.  Lucky for us we have Lyle down the road who repairs all types of small engines.  He does a great job, and doesn’t gouge us.  Very nice fellow.  My son and I took the blower over to his place around Hallowe’en I think… on a Saturday afternoon.  We spent the obligatory ½ hour talking about life, the universe and everything.  Then Lyle got down to business.

“I’ll take care of it, but it might be a few days,” he said cautiously.

“No rush, Lyle,” I said.  “Thanks for helping us out!!”

Next day we get a voice message on the phone:  “This is Lyle.  Snowblower’s ready!!  Your bill is $34.57”

He repaired the carburetor, changed the oil, lubed the cables.  Probably took him 45 minutes.  What a guy.  Super service!

So there I was, the next weekend, running the garden tractor.  Suddenly two big noises:  kerCHAK!!  kerPOW!!”  A cough and a very loud pop.  Tractor won’t start.  “Oh God Oh God… need to make another trip to Lyle’s” my brain chaos explodes into frantic visions of a huge bill.  I pushed the tractor out to the driveway.  This was no easy task mind you… had to make several stops to catch my breath.  Then I called our wonderful son Nate to come help me get it on the trailer.  “Need to get the tractor to Lyle’s,” I said.  “When it rains it pours.”  We grunted and shoved and oomphed and finally got it up on the trailer.

When we got to Lyle’s, I described the symptoms while the tractor sat dead on the trailer.  As we started with the obligatory discussion of life, the universe, and everything, we slowly revolved back to the tractor.  I stared at the back of my poor dead tractor; and suddenly my eyes caught a glimpse of something strange.  There is a sight port in the back of the tractor so you can see how much fuel is left.  There weren’t no any!!  “Ummm… Lyle, do you have any gas?  I think the &%$@ing thing is out of gas!!”

Sure enough.

We all had a big laugh over my silliness, and as we headed for home, Lyle chuckled and blurted out, “Ya know, I can’t make any money this way.”  I apologized about 8 million times and off we went.

So there I was, running the snowblower last month.  I heard some noises:  kerCHAK!!  kerPOW!!  The snowblower won’t start.  “Oh God!!  Oh God!!  It’s broke!!  Another trip to Lyle’s!!”  More brain chaos.  I heaved the snowblower back into the garage, and ALMOST went for the shovel, when a very small light bulb when off over my head.  “Maybe it needs gas…” I wondered.  Oh yeah, the tank was dry.

So there I was, driving home from work, when I hear this noise:  ppppphhhhWHEEET!!!  pppphhhfffWHEET!!!  I quick turn off the heater fan.  The noise goes away.  I run the fan some more, the noise comes back.  I turn the fan off.  The noise goes away.  I leave it off and the noise comes back!!  “OH GOD!!  OH GOD!!!  THE CRUISE CONTROL IS FLAKING OUT OR SOME OTHER VERY EXPENSIVE THING OH GOD I CAN’T TAKE IT OH GOD oh god oh ok settle down Ken…”  Then the noise went away with the fan running and the cruise on.  Then it came back this morning.  “OH GOD!!”

But I noticed something… this time the noise was accompanied by a strong wind which was pushing broadside against the car.  I watched for a clear spot in the traffic and leaned over and grabbed the window crank (remember crank windows??).  I gave the crank a little shove and the window went up just a bit.  THE STINKIN’ WINDOW WAS NOT CLOSED COMPLETELY.

Sheesh.

So here I am, working on telling my magnifying mind to please chill out and give me some rest.  Thankfully, the computer I’m typing this on isn’t making any strange noises.

AND… there’s nothing near me that runs on a gasoline engine.

Hello My Friends,

It’s my sincere belief that our Creator put at least a little bit of angel in each of us.

So here’s a call to all you angels.

I can’t bring myself to write anything funny today due to the terrible suffering in Haiti.

Please donate what you can to help out.  Even a few bucks can help.  Here are just a few links you can use to support those who are working to bring aid:

http://www.redcross.org

http://www.unicefusa.org

http://www.salvationarmyusa.org

http://www.internationalaid.org

http://www.pih.org/home2.html

Below is a video of Train’s “Calling All Angels.”  This is a new widget for me on here, and I can’t figure out how to put the “preview image” in the video window.  Oh well.  Dialup users may not want to click on it … I’m sure you know the story.  I know I sure do, been there, done that.

Our grandson had his first birthday recently. This is really amazing. It sure seems like it was just the day before yesterday I was changing diapers for a young girl who grew up to be his mommy!!

As frogs like to say, “Time’s fun when you’re having flies.”

My beautiful girlfriend (the one I married) and I spoke to our son-in-law that evening to share the joy. Mom, our daughter, is a nurse and was at work. Holy Déjà vu Batman!! Same scene as when our kids were young. Near the end of the conversation I gave our son-in-law the bad news.

“You know, Brian; now that you’re a Daddy you are automatically afflicted with an illness,” I related.

“What’s that?” he asked with some apprehension.

“Time will now fly like no other. In what will seem like a day and a half, you’ll be 55 years old and wonder where the HECK the years went.”

Exactly what happened to me and my lovely bride. Don’t get me wrong, we treasure each day we are on the planet. We kinda like it here! We’re not worried about what comes next; we’re both convinced that cool stuff awaits us in the Great Beyond. But hey, let’s not rush things. We’re here now and loving life. It’s just that Holy Cow, we’re grandparents!!

I mean hey, I remember vividly when the Beatles first came to America on the Mayflower! Or something… Anyway, I clearly remember sitting in my grandparents’ apartment in Brooklyn, NY when I was 10. My 8 transistor radio was glued to my ear while the Fab Four disembarked at JFK airport; with all the media of the day interviewing them every step of the way through the crowd of screaming fans. I even jokingly mentioned, “Hey Dad!! The Beatles just landed at JFK! We could go over there to see ‘em!!” “Yeah right!!” he retorted.

One cool thing about being a grandpa is that you get to reflect on all the changes that have happened over the years. Life is exactly the same only completely different these days. With technology alone, things have changed just a wee bit.

Picture this, kiddies. When I was born in 1954, commercial TV had only been rockin’ for about 13 years. Most stuff on TV was live broadcasts. If you had the TV on too early, you’d see a test pattern. If you had it on too late, you’d see a flag waving in the breeze while the national anthem was playing just prior to the station shutting down for the night. There were still dramas and comedies being made for radio. And when you turned on either a radio or a TV, you had to wait a few minutes for them to warm up. Took several minutes for the tubes and their associated circuitry to stabilize. Tubes?? Say what?? Yes, tubes. And even after the radio or TV warmed up you had to mess with the fine tuning to keep your signals coming in clearly. When you dialed a phone, you literally used a dial on the phone. None of the phones took batteries in those days. No fancy ring tones, just a bell. I know that some of you readers out there can outdo me on the dinosaur technology memories; but you get my drift.

Now back to the present day. I’ve noticed some “black holes” where a time warp knocks me in the head when I least expect it. For example: I scurry to get ready for work in the morning. Most of this zaniness is self inflicted, because I sleep till the last minute and then play fireman to get ready for the hour long commute. We heat with sticks (we have wood heat), so it’s my job to get the fires going. One is downstairs in the old part of the house, one upstairs in the addition. I start the furnace downstairs and then grab an armload of wood to offer the wood eater upstairs.

Next, I yank open the fridge and grab my lunch; shove it into that delightful Old Navy bag with the Hawaiian lady on the front and the cloth drawstring (our daughter bought me the bag years ago so I would quit killing trees from using paper bags. She loves Old Navy but didn’t really notice the hula girl design till several years later.).

Pour the coffee into the travel mug, grab the cell phone, and head for the garage at precisely 6:22 a.m.

Situate my lunch in the back seat, plug the smell phone into the earphone/mic thingy, come around to the driver’s seat and turn on the car.

THE CLOCK SAYS 6:31 A.M. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. There is NO WAY it takes me 8 minutes to walk from my back door to the garage. And yes, the car’s clock is correct; just like the clock inside. I’m pretty anal about that.

Time warp I tell ya!!

If you are old enough to remember the Rocky Horror Picture Show… I mean really remember, meaning you were old enough to enjoy it when it first came on the scene… well then you and I really are in a time warp. Aren’t we? Go ahead, I double dare ya to move your mouse over this text here and click on the link(Let’s hear it for YouTube).

Don’t believe any of this time warp nonsense? Well all I can say is: I bet you don’t have kids.

You’ll see…

Greetings, fellow People Persons!!

Here’s wishing you the Happiest Merry of all Years, with dotted Ts and crossed eyes following all of your newly configured radial sandwich flavors. It is very and ultra important that we greet this new year with pledges of doing remarkable things. As you may already know, pledges are words that express an intent to do something. Politicians know the value of a pledge. They use them to get elected and, once in office, they do what they bloody well want. But when you come right down to it, when people make promises about this or that at the beginning of a brand new year, they have a lot in common with politicians. Many people make pledges, but how many fulfill them?? This I am unable to know.

2009 brought great hope to me and many others who elected the first black man into the office of President of the United States. Mr. Obama made big pledges of change during his election campaign back in 2008. While I am still very hopeful, I’m also saddened about a few things. Sure, Rome wasn’t built in a day. But the economic bailouts and war activities that occurred during 2009 seem to be a rerun of the same old stories:

1) The rich get richer, the poor become more numerous, and the working class gets to pay for all of it; and

29) War is still not the answer, even though all too many people cling to the notion that it can be “morally justified.” I know, I know… “there’s so much evil in the world;” and “we have the right to defend ourselves…” Yada yada yada. My professional opinion: The use of weapons produces a very immediate (albeit tragic) result. However, there will NEVER be lasting peace until we are ready to treat each other with respect; communicate; and persistently work together to address the roots of the issues.

Oh but hey, that stuff takes way too long. Let’s just go bomb somebody.

Oy yoy yoy.

Call me Mr. Idealist, but I still really like the Ten Years After song, “I’d Love To Change The World” (Please note this video link contains some disturbing images. But hey, war is really disturbing!!)
“Tax the rich, feed the poor, till there are no rich no more…” Of course I’m one of those weridos that actually believes that we CAN change the world…

War, poverty, pollution, injustice… these types of ickyness just crumple me with the warm fuzzy noodle constipation that every mom loves. I know that it’s always easier to find fault with others than to look inward, so I thought I’d better lay out a plan for my own self improvement. Therefore, I beg of each of you to elect me as your next Filibuster Yakkity Yak Doo Dah Day for 2010. My plan for self bereavement lies below.

Please quickly try to forget that I have regurgitated the following Noo Yeer’s Revolutions:

1) To remind myself that I need to remember those things which I can’t seem to recall.

What was that again? What was I thinking about…?? Holy Cow!! I need to get something from somewhere and find out what the HECK it is!!

R) To lose weight, gain it back, lose it again, and lose some more until my nostrils can be used for sidewalk painting without fear of changing lanes abruptly.

Please pass the pepperoni flakes and the coagulated skim milk.

24) To change lanes abruptly so all weight loss can be vehemently avoided.

Watch out for that tree!! It has a scale near it!!

++) To boldly go where no earthworm has ever dined before.

Ummm… you gonna eat that compost??

3X) To be nice to all people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Excuse me sire, your toupee is on fire. May I stomp it out for you?

T5) To dress in all recyclable clothing, in order to lighten the load on my laundry licking machine.

I especially favor the milk jug socks and the recycled string bikini underwear.

Z44) To unite all small countries in a global effort to stop Homer Simpson from eating my cake.

Alright boys, this is it… you clunk him on the cake eater and I’ll spray him with a completely different shade of yellow.

And finally:

9) To sing loudly about how wonderful it is to be alive, ever reminding myself that having a job is a privilege; and that complaining is tantamount to feeding dog food to caterpillars. In other words, no matter how badly I think I have it, I am really a wealthy person. I have received many gifts from the Creator and All Their Friends. As Alistair Sim said in my favorite Christmas movie (Scrooge) “I don’t deserve to be so happy, but I can’t help it.”

I suspect that if you are reading this, you are wealthy also. You don’t think so?? OK smartypants, lemme ask you these: Do you have a car? Do you have enough to eat? Do any of your clothes fit nicely? Do you have friends? Do you have a warm, safe place to sleep?

If you said “yes” to more than one of those, you are wealthy. OK??

So I hereby beseech all of you to have a most Wonderful Last New Year of this First Decade of The New Millennium with New Millipedes under every log you roll. Love your brethren and your cistern. Love your father, your mother, and your Mother (Earth). Share what you can with those less fortunate than you are.

And please, be kind to yourself and other living things.

Peace, Love, and Ice Cream,

Kenny