Kakahead

Our grandson had his first birthday recently. This is really amazing. It sure seems like it was just the day before yesterday I was changing diapers for a young girl who grew up to be his mommy!!

As frogs like to say, “Time’s fun when you’re having flies.”

My beautiful girlfriend (the one I married) and I spoke to our son-in-law that evening to share the joy. Mom, our daughter, is a nurse and was at work. Holy Déjà vu Batman!! Same scene as when our kids were young. Near the end of the conversation I gave our son-in-law the bad news.

“You know, Brian; now that you’re a Daddy you are automatically afflicted with an illness,” I related.

“What’s that?” he asked with some apprehension.

“Time will now fly like no other. In what will seem like a day and a half, you’ll be 55 years old and wonder where the HECK the years went.”

Exactly what happened to me and my lovely bride. Don’t get me wrong, we treasure each day we are on the planet. We kinda like it here! We’re not worried about what comes next; we’re both convinced that cool stuff awaits us in the Great Beyond. But hey, let’s not rush things. We’re here now and loving life. It’s just that Holy Cow, we’re grandparents!!

I mean hey, I remember vividly when the Beatles first came to America on the Mayflower! Or something… Anyway, I clearly remember sitting in my grandparents’ apartment in Brooklyn, NY when I was 10. My 8 transistor radio was glued to my ear while the Fab Four disembarked at JFK airport; with all the media of the day interviewing them every step of the way through the crowd of screaming fans. I even jokingly mentioned, “Hey Dad!! The Beatles just landed at JFK! We could go over there to see ‘em!!” “Yeah right!!” he retorted.

One cool thing about being a grandpa is that you get to reflect on all the changes that have happened over the years. Life is exactly the same only completely different these days. With technology alone, things have changed just a wee bit.

Picture this, kiddies. When I was born in 1954, commercial TV had only been rockin’ for about 13 years. Most stuff on TV was live broadcasts. If you had the TV on too early, you’d see a test pattern. If you had it on too late, you’d see a flag waving in the breeze while the national anthem was playing just prior to the station shutting down for the night. There were still dramas and comedies being made for radio. And when you turned on either a radio or a TV, you had to wait a few minutes for them to warm up. Took several minutes for the tubes and their associated circuitry to stabilize. Tubes?? Say what?? Yes, tubes. And even after the radio or TV warmed up you had to mess with the fine tuning to keep your signals coming in clearly. When you dialed a phone, you literally used a dial on the phone. None of the phones took batteries in those days. No fancy ring tones, just a bell. I know that some of you readers out there can outdo me on the dinosaur technology memories; but you get my drift.

Now back to the present day. I’ve noticed some “black holes” where a time warp knocks me in the head when I least expect it. For example: I scurry to get ready for work in the morning. Most of this zaniness is self inflicted, because I sleep till the last minute and then play fireman to get ready for the hour long commute. We heat with sticks (we have wood heat), so it’s my job to get the fires going. One is downstairs in the old part of the house, one upstairs in the addition. I start the furnace downstairs and then grab an armload of wood to offer the wood eater upstairs.

Next, I yank open the fridge and grab my lunch; shove it into that delightful Old Navy bag with the Hawaiian lady on the front and the cloth drawstring (our daughter bought me the bag years ago so I would quit killing trees from using paper bags. She loves Old Navy but didn’t really notice the hula girl design till several years later.).

Pour the coffee into the travel mug, grab the cell phone, and head for the garage at precisely 6:22 a.m.

Situate my lunch in the back seat, plug the smell phone into the earphone/mic thingy, come around to the driver’s seat and turn on the car.

THE CLOCK SAYS 6:31 A.M. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. There is NO WAY it takes me 8 minutes to walk from my back door to the garage. And yes, the car’s clock is correct; just like the clock inside. I’m pretty anal about that.

Time warp I tell ya!!

If you are old enough to remember the Rocky Horror Picture Show… I mean really remember, meaning you were old enough to enjoy it when it first came on the scene… well then you and I really are in a time warp. Aren’t we? Go ahead, I double dare ya to move your mouse over this text here and click on the link(Let’s hear it for YouTube).

Don’t believe any of this time warp nonsense? Well all I can say is: I bet you don’t have kids.

You’ll see…