Kakahead

We live in a swamp.  Bear Swamp, to be precise.  It’s not called Bear Swamp much these days, but the elders of the community informed us of the name some years back when my beautiful wife and I were attending a Cub Scout dinner.  We got to chatting with some friendly old timers sitting near us, and they asked, “so where ’bouts do you live??”  When we told them, they said, “oh yes, you live in Bear Swamp.”  They know that Bear Creek (pronounced “crick” unless you’re a city dweller) runs through our property, and they also know that we are in a low spot.  And we know very VERY well that if it thaws quickly in the spring, we get water.  We are also very much aware of why many people around here don’t have basements.  And if they do, they definitely have a sump pump, and their house’s foundation sticks up at least three blocks above the ground.

Living in a swamp can have its advantages though, believe it or not.  First and foremost, we will likely never run out of water.  Several times over the years when storms have killed the power, we’d just take the wheel barrow down to the creek and fill several 5-gallon buckets to use for flushing the toilet.  Don’t have to dig very far to make a pond, either.  Since animals love water, we share our property with lots of wildlife.  One of our favorite types of wildlife that appears this time of year is spring peepers.  The song they sing is a sure sign that the warm weather is not far away.

For those of you who have the terrible misfortune of not knowing peepers, they are little frogs that make loud “peep” noises when the snow is all gone.  There are times when the little froggies are singing so loudly, you can hardly hear yourself think.   They are singing even as I write this.  Can’t you hear them??? In a few weeks, the toads will be joining in with their high pitched “whirrrrrrr” call.  Last but not least are the bullfrogs.  We love their song dearly.  Sure you can’t hear them???  Oh wait.  you probably don’t live in a swamp.  Well, I have a little treat for you… click here to listen toThe Lovely Song of Spring Peepers and Their Friends

One drawback of spring, however, is the appearance of land mines all over our yard.  Anyone here let their dogs outside to go potty?  Raise your hands… Well, here in Bear Swamp, we are borrowing 5 acres of land.  I say borrowing, because I believe like the Native Americans did:  nobody owns land, we borrow it from the Creator while we’re living on it.  Musky Da Husky would run to the North Pole and back if we let him loose outside, so he gets hooked up to a 50 foot chain when he has to go potty.  All this is great when there’s snow.  He goes outside, he poops in the snow, the poop disappears and ultimately freezes.  Frozen dog poop is suitable for being stepped on, because not only is it invisible (buried in the snow) but it doesn’t stick to your shoe.  And the snow makes a wonderful cloaking device for doggie doo.  Out of sight, out of mind.  Fine with us.

Then comes the spring thaw, crocuses, pussy willows, and the peepers.  But what to our wondering eyes did appear but eight thousand dog doodies over there and over here!!  Gack! And thawed dog dirt is not at all pleasant to walk on.  It can reduce a grown man to tears when the horrible “squish” moment arrives, and then of course the stench rises up into your nostrils.  Interesting, the physics of dog logs.  Well kinda I guess.  But now that I think about it, I’m strangely intrigued about why a big gob of hound dookey stinks to high heaven right after you step in it.  I mean, if it stunk that badly before you got it all over your new Nikes, you’d be less likely to walk where the canine caca is, right??  You’d get a big nose alarm and if you had any experience at all with stepping in dog crap, you’d take evasive action.

Maybe mutts are in a conspiracy, and they coat their logs with some sort of protective membrane that seals in the poopy aroma until we break the seal with our tootsies.  Who knows?  All I know for sure is that our husky can make the lawn a very dangerous place to walk in a very short time.  Sure he looks innocent enough, but I am beginning to wonder whether he intentionally makes little land mines out of poop especially for us.

We also have cats, and they go outside and actually bury their poop!  Such a novel concept!  Musky… do you see what the kitty is doing?  Pay attention boy!  No don’t dig it up and eat it!!!  Sheesh!!

So we live in a swamp.  With the snow gone, we’re basically living in The Land of Peepers and Poopers.  After writing all that stuff about dog doo, now my mind is wondering what happens to peeper poop.

Well OK, maybe I’d rather not know.