Kakahead

Ah, summertime… cookouts, fresh berries, warm sunny days, and lots of BUGS!! Especially if you live in Podunk Swamp Land, which is exactly where we live.  The vampire bugs have been especially thick lately… this includes deer flies, skeeters, and black flies.  Oh, not to forget the gnats.  They all get hungry every stinking time I go outside.  Deer flies are not too bad because they aren’t nearly as numerous as the stupid skeeters, and they’re dumb enough that you can kersmoosh them easily.  Black flies are meanies punks kakahead mooka flarns, because I have yet to swat one successfully.  You may be able to swat one if they have their blood sucking stabber thing deep into your skin, but I’m a wimp and don’t like the pain.  So, I try to swat as quickly as I can and cry for ow when I miss them and hit me. Skeeters are the worst.  I mean, there are so many of these stupid things that I swear to The Giant Rhinoceros Statue that I was lifted off the ground by a swarm of them the other day.  I have killed many of them.  And as many of you know, when they die, your own blood is on your hands!

One thing nice about living in the swamp:  you’ll never go hungry.  If you need a snack, just run through our yard with your mouth open, and you’ll get a meal and a half of all kinds of different flying meat.  I eat them all the time… not purposely mind you, but it happens.  Gnats seem to be the most common meal I ingest.  I especially enjoy talking to someone outside and having a quick bug snack.   Ah well.  Summer also means that the dragonflies and their cousins the damselflies are hatching out.  They eat skeeters.  And gnats.  And deer flies.  And black flies.  Simply put, THEY ARE MY HEROES.

Ants.  They are also very friendly right now.  We had a bunch of  them come to visit during a graduation open house, and boy did that give us the warm fuzzies inside.  Nothing makes your self esteem higher than a bunch of ants traipsing about the house when you have company from all over the universe.  My honey pie asked me, “where the *&%$ are all these ants coming from??”  Well, of course they migrate from Antarctica.  Except fire ants.  They don’t like Michigan because our winters put their fires out.  THANK GOD.

A few amazing yet little known statements about some of these bug things:  Dragonflies are from a land called Onalee.  If you get too close to them they will burn your eyebrows.   Hey, they are dragons!!  Lightning bugs are, of course, from thunderstorms.  I’m truly surprized that there is no loud noise when you see their hineys light up.  But then, what do I know about all this??  Deer flies look nothing like deer and black flies aren’t very black.  Gnats are tiny, so that one makes sense.  And of course, gnats have very tiny hineys.

Although I have nothing but hatred for mosquitoes, they are useful because they are food for not just dragonflies and damselflies, but also for bats, swallows and other wonderful animals.  And of course the mosquito wrigglers (larvae) feed fishies.  Swamp world contains many many wild critters.  So, in spite of all the bugs that are buzzin’ around our house, we will likely never leave.  We just love being part of the swamp family.

Of course, the stinkin’ skeeters can leave any time!

We hear some weird noises here in the swamp… lots of buzzing and such. Could THIS be what they’re all up to??