Kakahead

When we were kids on Long Island, we ate a lot of fish.  During the ‘60s there were plenty to be had, and numerous places to catch all kinds of wonderful things for dinner.  Crabs, flounder, blowfish, weakfish, bluefish, snappers, clams, and other delicious creatures were abundant in those days.

I remember once Dad took my brother and I fishing for snappers.  We used long bamboo poles and frozen minnows; and as I write this I fondly remember that such simple tackle proved very effective.  I also have a distinct memory of Dad trying to unhook an eel I caught.  I couldn’t have been very old, because I remember being rather frightened by this snake-like animal wrapping its body around Dad’s arm as he tried to unhook it.  He let it go, and I don’t remember ever catching another eel since.

Some time after The Great Eel Incident, I lost focus with the strange creatures.  Then, a magical thing happened.  Dad brought home some hard smoked eel from one of the local fish stores.  HOLY COW THAT WAS GOOD.  I only remember having it once, but the flavor was amazing.  Fast forward many years, and the only eel I’ve been able to find is at sushi bars.  A bit mushy and not very smoky.  Wet snake fish, if you ask me.

So anyway there I was, 10,000 feet in the air, no plane, no parachute… oh wait, there I go again… scratch that…

So there I was, minding my own business on a winter’s afternoon.  My beautiful girlfriend (a.k.a. Mrs. Wife Person) was at work and I was vegging out in front of the TV.  One of our favorites, Scandinaving Cooking, was on the local PBS station.  And lo and behold, the guy was talking about hard smoked eel!! I could almost smell it, and my mouth started watering.  Apparently it is still a favorite in Norway and other Scandinavian countries.  Something churned deep inside me and I embarked upon a mission to find smoked eel.

Michigan is not a place to find seafood.  That is, of course, if you want something other than shrimp or lobster.  I called one of my local favorite fish stores and asked if he could get any eel.  “You want what now??” he asked, quizzically.  “Hard smoked eel,” I said, carefully enunciating each word.  “Never heard of it… people eat eels?!?”  “Nevermind,” I sighed, and thanked the guy for his time.

Next, I tried looking up a more “regional” seafood distributor in Grand Rapids, the closest big city.  When I called Superior Seafood, I first asked if they sold to the general public.  “No, we are wholesale only,” the nice lady said.  Then I asked if they could even get hard smoked eel, and she said, “Why don’t you try Forest Hills?”   “You mean the grocery store?”  I asked.  “Yeah, they have a nice selection of seafood.”

I called Forest Hills grocery, and got the seafood department.  “Hi, can you folks get any hard smoked eel?” I asked.  “Huh??  Hard smoked eel?  I dunno lemme check a minute…”  I heard some queries being directed to his peers.  “Nope, can’t get that,” he replied.  “Any idea who to call?”  I asked.  “Try Superior Seafood,” he said.  “Oh, well they sent me to you,” I returned.

Tried a few more local yokels with no luck.  Then I decided to cast my net a bit farther, so to speak.   After several tries at plunking “hard smoked eel” into Google, I came up with only European sites.  So, I dropped it down to just “smoked eel,” and stumbled upon an outfit in New York called Delaware Delacacies Smoke House.  I called and left a message.  Ray, the owner, actually called me back!!  Got him live and in color on the phone today, and he said, yes, he had smoked eel, and it’s $20 a pound, extra for shipping and handling.

I asked, “is this hard smoked eel?”  “Not sure what you mean,” he says.  “Well, I mean it’s not like the mushy stuff they have at a sushi bar is it?” I queried.  “Don’t know, never been to one,” he said, with a tone in which you could visualize a bit of a shrug.  He went on to say the consistency of the meat is “like trout.”

Then I said, “well that sounds wonderful.  Let me talk to my boss and I’ll get back to you.  You know, the one I’m married to.”  “Yep, I get it,” he said.

I related this to my lovely girlfriend / wife / boss person and asked her if I could please get some could I huh could I please huh could I??  SHE SAID YES!!

So, the happy ending is that I’m gonna save my pennies and pay $20 a pound for some snakey looking delicious fish. YUM YUM!!

On the other hand, you have Eels, but not the same kind…

Hello, and thank you for tuning in to this week’s antenna ranching installment.  Work has been removing my capillaries again, and although I was in a bit of an emotional slump recently I’ve decided to staple feathers to my dog’s pajamas and anonymously send ice cream to the corporate headquarters via parcel post.  Surely these stress relief methods will result in at least two or perhaps even seventeen new buttons on Mrs. Jingledweeb’s radish basket.

Huh??  Not to worry… just a little stress relief there…

Those of you who know me are aware that I am a geek by trade and a gardener by passion.  The geek boy role pays the bills, the garden feeds my soul (and also my family!). In other words, computer support is what I do, but it’s NOT who I am. Today’s economy, however, can make one wonder what the future will bring. For the first time in my life I’m learning what it feels like to focus WAY too much on my job.

Lately, my job has become rather huge.  Too much to do, and I could literally live at work and never get it all done.  This situation is certainly not unique to me, many of my coworkers find themselves in the same boat.  “Agility,” they call it.  That’s a euphemism for “we’re gonna whittle the number of employees down to the bare minimum (or less) but all those who are left get to have all their work.”

The upper echelon has absolutely no clue what we peasants are going through… they just keep saying things like “right-sizing” and “cost effectiveness.”  We working folk look up the corporate ladder and see an upper crust that is getting their pockets lined nicely each year; but we’ve had no raises for at least 4 years now.

And guess what?  This is a worldwide phenomenon over which I have absolutely no control.  I’ve been taking my job way too personally lately.  I’ve been trying to manage an unmanageable workload, and then I go home in a somber mood.  “I just can’t keep up… people must be getting impatient,” I tell my lovely wife.  “It’s not your fault,” she reassures me, “you can’t help it that when the other guy retired they didn’t replace him.  Try not to be so negative… it just invites more of the same you know…”

Yeah, I know.

SO!  I’m not afraid to admit that I broke down and shed a few tears of frustration last weekend.  Hey, it doesn’t happen very often but I know how to cry if I need to… it’s a release that has probably kept me from completely losing my mind over the years.  After letting it out, I got some good reminders from my darling girlfriend (who, conveniently, is my wife) and several other very close friends.

The reminders all basically boiled down to these simple guides:

A)  Don’t sweat the small stuff.

12)  EVERYTHING is small stuff.

7)  Maintain some boundaries – balance the job with your real life.

p4)  Don’t take this work stuff too seriously, and

*@)  Try to smile.  It is much more pleasant than frowning.

I’ve been reprogramming.  Funny how the older I get, the less I know.  If I can stay in that frame of mind, I can survive this work stuff by learning new ways to cope.  I can let go of the things I simply can’t control.  I can have a life outside of work even!  I can raise a nice garden and get my hands nice and dirty!  I can take time to laugh!  I can even stop using so many exclamation points!

Or not!!

And, I can include a video that gave me a smile when I was much younger.

It reminds me of those silly bosses up there in Rich Kid Land, who, by the way, likely will never be invited to our place for dinner.

Summer isn’t officially here in beautiful West Michigan, but around here summer “begins” on Memorial Day and starts slipping away after Labor Day. We’ve had some 90 degree days already and a good amount of rain. Needless to say, the vegetation has exploded all around us.

The garden is a-kickin’ in…

Friends and family know that organic gardening is permanently embedded in my soul. I always fuss because I get the planting done “way too late;” then I fuss some more when the kids go back to school and all the harvesting has to be done.

I simply love all of it to pieces.

I’m a bed planter. No, that does not mean that I dig really large holes and put bedroom furniture in them. What it actually means is that, because I like to make the most of my miniature farm, I do a lot of companion planting in beds about 2 feet wide rather than many single rows. Companion planting involves a little “reminder research” each year; during which time I read up on what plants like to live with each other.

Rows are nice and tidy, and relatively easy to maintain. However, I can get much more “production” from beds once they get established. Of course, bed planting also invites weeds, and for the first few weeks of the garden season it can be a challenge to keep the “uninvited guest” plants out.

Most of you call these uninvited plants weeds. I guess a weed, by at least one definition, is a nuisance plant. Many weeds are useful and even edible, however. My Dad introduced us to “sour grass” when we were very small. It’s actually called sheep sorrel, and is sometimes used as a salad green. Dad also got us into wild berries and fruits, so of course it’s not uncommon for us to think of him when we are chowing down on some wild strawberries or blueberries.

When I left home, my interest in natural foods grew and I started gathering books on native plants and such. Friends still think I’m a little off when I stop in my tracks and pick some wild greens for munching. One of my personal favorites is lambs quarters, which is actually quite nutritious. Actually tastes pretty darn good too. Then our friend Pam introduced me to purslane, another common “weed” that is packed with nutrients including omega 3 oils.

But while weeds can be yummy and useful, I have to admit that my gardening focus has been primarily set on keeping “weeds” like lambs quarters and purslane OUT of the garden. Hey, I figure if I really want to eat them, all I have to do is do a little weeding, or else venture outside the garden a bit and find all I want.

Recently however, our lovely, tree-hugging daughter (the nuts don’t fall far from the tree, so to speak) informed us that she spent $4.50 on a one gallon bag of lambs quarters at a local organic produce market. Upon hearing this, I had to chuckle a bit.

“You bought lambs quarters?!?!?” I snickered. I’ll have a bunch soon… how much can I get for them? “Yeah,” she said a bit sheepishly. “It’s the only fresh greens they had.”

Yesterday I called her while I was weeding out in the garden.

“Hi, this is K&K Hansen Farms calling. I have lambs quarters coming, I can sell you them for $2.50 a pound. I have a produce scale in the shed… just weigh up what you want and leave your money in the jar.”

After the joking and poking, I asked seriously if she wanted them (for free of course).

“I’m weeding right now… if you want some of these I’ll forget to pull them out of the ground and save them for you.”

So I did. And I did something historic: I ACTUALLY MULCHED AROUND THE LAMBS QUARTERS TO HELP THEM GROW BETTER. Never in my living life would I have guessed that I’d be mulching “weeds.”

Here’s a photo to prove it!!

I mulched these "weeds" for cryin' out loud!!

Then to make things even more interesting, we brought some rhubarb to one of our favorite local restaurants, Mia and Grace, and were talking to our server. A nice gent, probably around the same age as our lovely daughter. He mentioned that he enjoys eating both lambs quarters and purslane.

Maybe I’m on the cutting edge of a burgeoning market!! Planting could be pretty simple next year. Just make my planting beds and water, then watch the food sprout!

OK, maybe I’ll grow some beans, corn, and squash and such too just for the halibut (we also love fish).

Now here’s a way to prepare vegetables that I’ve never really thought of before…

Due to family fun this weekend, I didn’t have time to compose anything Happy for Friday.  So, I’m going to cheat and let you kick back and enjoy some of the cool things I (we) grew up with.  Let’s hear it for glorious Black & White!!

Well OK, I was only a year old when Dean and Jerry were on the Colgate Comedy Hour. But even though we still had black & white TV when this one came on the Smothers Brothers show… it was still a lot of fun.


One last time for the glorious Black & White: I admit I had lust in my heart for this gal when I was a kid, even though she was a cartoon character. One of my favorites though…