Kakahead

When we were kids on Long Island, we ate a lot of fish.  During the ‘60s there were plenty to be had, and numerous places to catch all kinds of wonderful things for dinner.  Crabs, flounder, blowfish, weakfish, bluefish, snappers, clams, and other delicious creatures were abundant in those days.

I remember once Dad took my brother and I fishing for snappers.  We used long bamboo poles and frozen minnows; and as I write this I fondly remember that such simple tackle proved very effective.  I also have a distinct memory of Dad trying to unhook an eel I caught.  I couldn’t have been very old, because I remember being rather frightened by this snake-like animal wrapping its body around Dad’s arm as he tried to unhook it.  He let it go, and I don’t remember ever catching another eel since.

Some time after The Great Eel Incident, I lost focus with the strange creatures.  Then, a magical thing happened.  Dad brought home some hard smoked eel from one of the local fish stores.  HOLY COW THAT WAS GOOD.  I only remember having it once, but the flavor was amazing.  Fast forward many years, and the only eel I’ve been able to find is at sushi bars.  A bit mushy and not very smoky.  Wet snake fish, if you ask me.

So anyway there I was, 10,000 feet in the air, no plane, no parachute… oh wait, there I go again… scratch that…

So there I was, minding my own business on a winter’s afternoon.  My beautiful girlfriend (a.k.a. Mrs. Wife Person) was at work and I was vegging out in front of the TV.  One of our favorites, Scandinaving Cooking, was on the local PBS station.  And lo and behold, the guy was talking about hard smoked eel!! I could almost smell it, and my mouth started watering.  Apparently it is still a favorite in Norway and other Scandinavian countries.  Something churned deep inside me and I embarked upon a mission to find smoked eel.

Michigan is not a place to find seafood.  That is, of course, if you want something other than shrimp or lobster.  I called one of my local favorite fish stores and asked if he could get any eel.  “You want what now??” he asked, quizzically.  “Hard smoked eel,” I said, carefully enunciating each word.  “Never heard of it… people eat eels?!?”  “Nevermind,” I sighed, and thanked the guy for his time.

Next, I tried looking up a more “regional” seafood distributor in Grand Rapids, the closest big city.  When I called Superior Seafood, I first asked if they sold to the general public.  “No, we are wholesale only,” the nice lady said.  Then I asked if they could even get hard smoked eel, and she said, “Why don’t you try Forest Hills?”   “You mean the grocery store?”  I asked.  “Yeah, they have a nice selection of seafood.”

I called Forest Hills grocery, and got the seafood department.  “Hi, can you folks get any hard smoked eel?” I asked.  “Huh??  Hard smoked eel?  I dunno lemme check a minute…”  I heard some queries being directed to his peers.  “Nope, can’t get that,” he replied.  “Any idea who to call?”  I asked.  “Try Superior Seafood,” he said.  “Oh, well they sent me to you,” I returned.

Tried a few more local yokels with no luck.  Then I decided to cast my net a bit farther, so to speak.   After several tries at plunking “hard smoked eel” into Google, I came up with only European sites.  So, I dropped it down to just “smoked eel,” and stumbled upon an outfit in New York called Delaware Delacacies Smoke House.  I called and left a message.  Ray, the owner, actually called me back!!  Got him live and in color on the phone today, and he said, yes, he had smoked eel, and it’s $20 a pound, extra for shipping and handling.

I asked, “is this hard smoked eel?”  “Not sure what you mean,” he says.  “Well, I mean it’s not like the mushy stuff they have at a sushi bar is it?” I queried.  “Don’t know, never been to one,” he said, with a tone in which you could visualize a bit of a shrug.  He went on to say the consistency of the meat is “like trout.”

Then I said, “well that sounds wonderful.  Let me talk to my boss and I’ll get back to you.  You know, the one I’m married to.”  “Yep, I get it,” he said.

I related this to my lovely girlfriend / wife / boss person and asked her if I could please get some could I huh could I please huh could I??  SHE SAID YES!!

So, the happy ending is that I’m gonna save my pennies and pay $20 a pound for some snakey looking delicious fish. YUM YUM!!

On the other hand, you have Eels, but not the same kind…