Kakahead

Once Upon A Time, in a yard very nearby, there lived a very old shed with a slanted roof.  The poor shed was not very attractive.   Made of wood that was apparently scrounged from hither and yon; it was covered from head to toe with tar paper to protect it from the elements.  It had very little paint on it, except on and around the door, which had fallen off years ago.  The poor shed lived near a swamp, so having wet feet would surely have caused it to rot away many years ago.  However, its maker saw fit to place it on a concrete foundation. 

In 1982, a young tree-hugger peacenik hippie-type man and his Beautiful Princess bride bought the land on which the very old shed stood.  The Beautiful Princess was never too thrilled with the house the young man bought for her.  However, they were soul mates and she agreed to live with him in the old homestead with the very old shed.  The young man loved the old shed, because it kept his garden tools and rototiller protected from the weather.  He didn’t have much money and tried many times to patch the slanted roof with whatever was available:  old shingles, old linoleum, old siding… lots of tar and other assorted goops.  This worked for awhile but eventually the slanted roof gave up the ghost and began to droop ever closer to the floor.

Fast forward several years:  the tree-hugger peacenik hippie-type man was not so young now, and he thought it was high time to fix up the shed.  The Beautiful Princess, however, was pretty much sick up and fed with the unsightly shack, and exhorted, “let’s just torch the stupid thing.”  Well this saddened the tree-hugger hippy heart of the tree-hugger peacenik hippie-type man, so he convinced the Beautiful Princess to buy some trusses for a new roof.  This, he believed would be the beginning of a beautiful new shed.

Fast forward a few more years.  Remember the tree-hugger peacenik hippie-type man??  Well, a carpenter he was not.  So after several years of watching the trusses age (along with a few “harrumphs” from the Beautiful Princess), he finally got off his hiney and hired a young man to replace the roof.  He did a splendid job, and although the tree-hugger peacenik hippie-type man had grandiose (good) intentions of finishing the job, the very old shed looked like this for several more years (click on the picture for a larger view):

The old shed in 2006

Please note that the small shed-like building in front is NOT the very old shed, but a doghouse that was inherited when the tree-hugger peacenik hippie-type man and the Beautiful Princess adopted Musky Da Husky.  He doesn’t live in the dog house anymore…

Fast forward a couple more years:  now the very old house that came with the old homestead was newly remodeled and beautiful.  However, by this time the Beautiful Princess had lost patience with the tree-hugger peacenik hippie-type man  regarding the very old shed with the new roof.  She began calling the very old shed the “F*&%ing Shed;” and since great care is taken to keep this a family oriented web site I shall not transcribe the expletive in its full form.

Fast forward five more years:  remember the statement that the tree-hugger peacenik hippie-type man is no carpenter?  Well that has not changed.  However, all hope was not lost thanks to the Most Wonderful Son-In-Law.  Although the Most Wonderful Son-In-Law is not a carpenter by trade, he has acquired much practical knowledge in this craft.  By some wonderful miracle, the Most Wonderful Son-In-Law agreed to lend his skills to the tree-hugger peacenik hippie-type man and his Beautiful Princess.  He came one afternoon and calculated how much lumber, etc. would be needed and assisted with the purchase of it all.  Then, he arrived early on a Saturday morning and worked his and the tree-hugger peacenik hippie-type man’s hineys off.  Then he came back a third time to finish the job!!

The results were amazing (again, click the image for a larger view): 

New and improved very old shed!

Truly remarkable, wouldn’t you say?

So, the tree-hugger peacenik hippie-type man and his Beautiful Princess will be forever grateful to the Most Wonderful Son-In-Law.  And now, the “F*&%ing Shed” has been renamed the “Beautiful F*&%ing Shed.”  And the tree-hugger peacenik hippie-type man will, for the foreseeable future anyway, believe that he owes the Most Wonderful Son-In-Law. Big time. 

The End.

It’s really a very good thing the tree-hugger peacenik hippie-type man did NOT try to rebuild the shed himself, as it’s highly likely the result would have been similar to one of his favorite Buster Keaton films…