Kakahead

The holidays can be nice and warm with family gatherings and friendly fellowship.  They can also be a bit stressful, what with all the gifts we like to get for those we love.  Personally, I’d be very happy to receive nothing more than the basics for Christmas, or any other day of the year for that matter.  By “the basics,” I mean clean air and water, good food, a place to stay warm and dry, and the love of friends and family.   What more can a person really ask from life?  Oh maybe some clothing… I forgot to mention clothes.  I’d probably need some of those; don’t want to frighten anyone with my wrinkly old body running around naked or anything.

Anyway, believe it or not there was a time when the term “Black Friday” was not necessarily known as a retailer’s most profitable time.  According to Wikipedia, the term originated in Philadelphia some time in the 1960s, and was a negative reference to the large amount of vehicle and pedestrian traffic on the day after the US Thanksgiving.  The term soon spread outward from Philly and has since gained recognition throughout the US as one of the biggest shopping days of the year. 

However, the negative connotation didn’t completely disappear.  I distinctly remember November 20, 1992 because of a different kind of “Black Friday.”  The company I was working for was restructuring, which of course meant layoffs.  For whatever reason, Friday was always the day of choice to deliver the news to often unsuspecting layoff recipients.  That day, my lovely girlfriend saw me off to work, gave me a smooch and said, “have a nice day!”  I replied, “well we’ll see, it’s Black Friday.” 

I was home by 11 AM with no job.

Being unemployed, at the very least, gives one pause about life, the universe and everything.  Oh, and also about money.  The layoff was actually a wonderful thing, because it helped me understand what’s really important in life.  Also, my next career path turned out to pay better; and my skill set is much more marketable than it was in those days.  But as I said, I acquired a new appreciation for the simple things.

Needless to say, I shake my head at the craziness that ensues each year for “Black Friday.”   The commercials on TV are amusing but often hit pretty close to home when they mock the insane behavior that accompanies the drive to get a deal.  I understand that retailers need to do what they can to get ahead, but encouraging shoppers to camp in front of their entrances seems a bit sad to me.  And yes, they really are encouraging the camping out… if that were not true, why would a port-a-potty be strategically placed in front of the store a few days before the big event? 

I enjoyed my day off today.  I did go to two stores, but not until well after the crazies had their shopping orgy.  When I got home, it was time to move some more firewood while listening to 780 AM out of Chicago.  Comes in very well here in West Michigan and keeps me in tune with both the time and what’s going on in the world.  I was saddened but not shocked when I heard the stories about Black Friday violence.  There was the lady who sprayed pepper spray at Walmart in California.  One way to beat competing customers!!  She managed to make her purchase and exit the store, but when they find her she’ll have a felony assault charge as a nice holiday gift.  There were also some Black Friday related shootings and fights sprinkled around the country… a very nice way to enjoy the day after Thanksgiving.

I’ll just keep it simple and shop when nobody is chasing me with a weapon if you don’t mind.  And again, I remind my family over and over that the only thing I need for a gift is their love.  Well… maybe some music CDs.  Oh and some fancy coffee beans… ummm… oh sorry never mind.

I truly hope none of the “Occupy Wall Street” folks are getting tangled up in this Black Friday madness.  If they are… well I guess they’re no better than our friend Mr. Greedy Humpty Dumpty here…

So there I was, minding my own business, finally getting off my duff and bringing firewood into the house.  Saw some snowflakes today, and although there were way too few of them to stick, it was obviously the harbinger of things to come.   We’ve been heating with wood pretty much since we moved into this place… almost 30 years already!!  During our first winter here, we found out pretty much instantly that heating a house with zero insulation gets pretty expensive.  That’s especially true if you’re furnace is old and uses fuel oil.  Fortunately, Mr. Erickson (the original owner / builder) put in a very good chimney that was designed for a coal furnace.  That of course meant that it was also very suitable for a wood furnace. 

Lots of work, but saves us a bundle in heating costs.

We have a “secret door” into which I toss the wood… I load up my wheelbarrow from the big pile of sticks (OK, they’re really logs) on the north side of the driveway.  Then across the driveway I go to the “secret door” and toss them into the basement.  The door is camouflaged with fake stone, just like that which covers the original blocks as a nice country looking facade.    It actually looks like the foundation of the house is made of stone, mortared in to make a wall at the base of the house.   Our magically talented contractor, Jeff, did a fantastic job installing the fake stone, and he was even able to add it to the wood door in such a way that one would easily miss it if the door wasn’t pointed out.

So there I was, minding my own business tossing logs into the basement through the secret door.  Gets dark early these days, so me and Musky Da Husky often find ourselves outside enjoying the starry nights and listening to AM radio.  That’s right… I said it, AM Radio.    But not just any  AM radio station… we like Zoomer Radio.    You know, AM 740 out of Toronoto, Canada.  Comes in like gangbusters in many states after the sun goes down.  And the music is specially selected for “Zoomers,” which is their way of fondly referring to us “Boomers.”  Baby boomers, that is.   The signal is very strong and comes in quite readily on car radios.  Gotta wait till dusk though… because that’s when the AM radio band sparkles with life, as many of you already know.   If you haven’t had the pleasure of picking up AM 740 in your car or at home, you can also check them out online, here, at http://zoomerradio.ca/.

While “pitching wood” takes some effort, I find it a good way to get a combination of exercise and meditation.  Then of course when I’m not meditating, I’m often reminiscing about something.   This particular evening I found myself going way back into childhood.  I very clearly remember my brother and I traveling in the car with our cousin Eddie, and he abruptly shouted “Zoomophone!!”  He was giggling with delight, and of course my brother and I were giggling at Eddie’s strange new word.  Eddie laughingly shouted “Zoomophone!!” again, as his gaze was transfixed outside the car.  My brother and I looked in the same direction and saw it:  it was the ice cream truck.

After we both had a nice laugh we said, “no Eddie, that’s the Good Humor Man!” 

“Zoomophone!!” Eddie persisted.  “No,” we replied, chuckling,”Good HUMOR!!”  Finally, Eddie relented… well a little bit anyway.

“Good Zoomer!!” he said, trying to follow our lead.  My brother and I both figured that was close enough.  Besides, we really liked hearing him shout “Zoomophone!!” 

So there I was, minding my own business, my memory dancing about while I was tuned into Zoomer Radio.  And you know what happened next?  I put the wheelbarrow away and went inside!!  So there!!  Then it was time to write “Happy Friday!!”   Then I asked myself, “Self, I wonder if you can find a video of that song ‘Mexican Radio’ from all those moons ago.  What was that like from the ’80s or something??”

Yep, it was… 1982 to be precise.   And no, that didn’t come to me while pitching wood… I had to look it up.  So here we go with the video awreddy…

I love the farmers’ market.  The whole experience is truly spiritual, in my professional opinion.  All the growers bring their goodies, in all kinds of weather, so we can come and get the best fresh produce money can buy.  You know how people sometimes get cranky at the grocery store?  Whether they’re giving the cashier a hard time about a price they don’t like, or yelling at their kids, there can be discord at the store at various times.

 Never, never have I seen anything like that at the market.

 Last Saturday, I was in charge of our grandson Ollie, after Nini (pronounced “Neenee”) fed him breakfast and ran off to work.  His Dad went on a hunting trip, and his Mom was entertaining a friend who was home from overseas.  So, we had the privilege of watching our wonderful young man over the weekend.  On the agenda:  a trip to the market to buy some fruit.

 We get plenty of veggies in our garden, so no need to buy any of those right now.  But we don’t have any plums, pears, or apples growing around the place, so off to the market I go each weekend.  I sometimes get a bit over zealous with the grabbing of the fruit.  For example, I found it necessary to buy ½ peck of plums.  That’s a lot of plums!!  And of course I had to get almost as many pears.  Both of those are going out of season soon you know.  And last but not least, I had to get some more apples.  One can never have too many apples… right??

 Once we parked the car, we got out and noticed the REALLY BIG BACKHOE moving REALLY BIG THINGS across the road from the farmers’ market.  Seemed like they were doing some kind of storm drain work, and we arrived just in time to see the back hoe moving a gigantic section of concrete drain.  Pretty cool stuff for such a  young man to watch! 

 Then off we went to get the goodies.  When we came upon the booth with the plums, Ollie mentioned that he likes those.  “You want one now?” I asked.  “I do!” he replied without hesitation.  As we continued on, one of the kind ladies at another booth caught up to me with a big hunk of paper towel.  “You’re gonna need this soon!” she said, smiling.  I smiled back and thanked her, then off we went to finish shopping. 

 On our way out, we walked to the edge of the parking lot for another glimpse of the REALLY BIG BACKHOE.   Our dear friend Kathleen caught up to us just as we were getting into the car.

 “Hi Ken!!  What are you doing here??” she asked.  Being the eternal smarty pants, I quipped, “I was trying to go fishing.  I went all up and down those aisles but no fish anywhere.”   Many folks are surprised that although I have a pretty prolific garden I still go to the farmers’ market.  One extra bonus of going to market, though, is I almost always run into someone who’s near and dear to my heart.  Plus, Kathleen had heard me and my beautiful girlfriend brag about Ollie but now she finally got to meet him.

 Fast forward several days… the pears are almost all eaten.  Some went home with our son the other day so that helped.  My lovely girlfriend put out a fruit bowl with assorted market goodies for her women’s meeting, so that got rid of some of the plums.  However, some of the plums were becoming compost, and some of the pears and apples were fast on the way to not-so-yummy land.   Every time I opened the fruit drawer to get something for work, all kinds of thoughts raced through my noggin.  Most of these were predicated with the question, “WHAT THE HECK ARE WE GONNA DO WITH ALL THIS FRUIT???”

 Then came Wednesday.  My lovely bride was exhausted from a long work day and some physical therapy to help her heel problems.  I was in charge of dinner.  I found a nice salmon filet on sale at Meijer.  Cooked that up with some beets and beet greens, nuked a couple potatoes, and voila!!  Dinner is served.  OK… how about some dessert??  What to make… that is the question.  Then it came to me in a flash, and I jumped up on top of the kitchen counter, clanged some Revere Ware together, and shouted “EUREKA!!” at the top of my lungs. 

 Or not.

 But I did have a flash of inspiration for something I thought might be yummy:  fruit sauce.  You know, like apple sauce, but with more than just apples.  I hunted down all the not so wonderful fruit:  apples, plums, and pears.  Then I chopped them up whole, skins and all (minus cores and pits of course) and threw them in a 2 ½ quart Revere Ware pan.  Next, I poured about a cup or so of apple juice in the pan for a sweet but moist head start for boiling.  Couple dashes of cinnamon and the last of a bag of brown sugar just to sweeten it a bit more.  There was only about one tablespoon of sugar left in the bag, maybe less (probably could have omitted the sugar, but what the heck).  Oh, and for an added nutritional wallop, I tossed about a half handful each of walnut halves and shaved almonds in there.

 I brought all this to a boil, stirred them around a bit with one of  our many wooden spoons.  After the fruit was nice and soft, into the food processor it went.  Now, many of you have heard me rant that I’m old school in many ways.  A dinosaur even.  And I like it already!   Although I bought my lovely girlfriend a nice Kitchenaid food processor a couple Santa times ago, I still turn to my favorite food processor every time.   It’s the one my father-in-law gave us for a wedding present 38 years ago.  Made in the USA, sold by Montgomery Ward where he worked at the time.  Here it is next to my finished product, which turned out nice and smooth but was more like fruit soup than fruit sauce.    Click on the picture for a larger view.

HI-Tech Food Processor from 1973

 That blender has helped me make many a pumpkin puree for pies over the years.  Works great for iced coffee smoothies in the summer too.  The crazy thing works and even (almost) looks like brand new.  And of course, every time I use it, I have fond memories of Grampa Hilliard who’s probably reading this down in Jasper, Florida. 

 So the fruit became soup instead of compost.  Well, more like pudding than soup I guess.  Pretty darn tasty though… and while it was still warm I plopped some in a couple bowls and accidentally dropped some Breyer’s Fat Free Vanilla Ice Cream on top of it.  Oh my goodness it was cosmic!! 

 With winter on the way, I’ll be staying home tomorrow instead of the usual trek to the market.  Gotta get the swiss chard and some other veggies out before the snow moves in!!  I’d like to be at least a little prepared and stock our pantry (or, more accurately, the freezer) before the snows come. 

 Well, I tried to find a suitable video for this Happy Friday and found this gem featuring my favorite chefs.  Please forgive the fact that it’s broken into two parts… but quite often that’s the “price” of free stuff these days. 
 
Part 1 -

 
Part 2 -

Tickling a grandchild is very important.  Techniques are varied, but some are steeped in tradition.  This one was passed down from my beautiful girlfriend’s family:

The “tickling hand” is closed with the exception of the index finger pointed straight out.  Next, the hand is moved in a circle, drawing ever closer to the target.  Since we only have one grandchild, we are the ticklers and Oliver is the ticklee.  As the circling hand is in motion, the following refrain is unleashed, all the while maintaining an impish look and complete, unwaivering eye contact…

“Bumblebee bumblebee right from the farm… I’m gonna get Oliver… under the arm!!”   At this time, serious tickling is in progress.  This of course is repeated a few times, and then given a rest until a later time (sometimes just a little bit later).

As luck would have it, my beautiful girlfriend (who was kind enough to married me some years ago) and our beautiful daughter were at an outlet mall last year.  My honey found a bumblebee costume for Ollie at Old Navy for a whopping four dollars!!  Such a splendid bargain, and it came in very handy for this past Hallowe’en.  As you can see, Ollie’s mind was focused on getting some loot.  Click on the picture for a bigger view.

I'm gonna get me some candy!!

His trick-or-treating pal was Fern, the Care Bear.  Again, click for a better look.

Ready to go!

As we escorted Ollie through Fern’s neighborhood, Ollie announced to his Care Bear friend, “time to hold hands!!”   I don’t think they were very pleased with the flash but I simply had to get a picture of that!!

Time to hold hands!

As we “big kids” were walking about and enjoying the various ghouls, goblins, and other festive get-ups, we couldn’t help but reminisce about our own childhoods.  Having started in Long Island, NY, my brothers, my sister and I were pretty much in Candy Land when trick-or-treating time came along.  We would literally fill a pillowcase with candy, go home and dump it (in what we believed to be a secure location), and go out and get at least another half load.  Our poor parents were probably tested to the max once we got all sugared up.

We had mischievous souls in our day; but usually nothing more than some shaving cream on door handles or something innocuous like that.  Of course we did have the “bad eggs” who would prove their naughtiness by throwing them.  Nothing really destructive though.

That of course has changed to some degree.  What with “Devils Night” arson and other such nasty business, now there are churches and other organizations who sponsor “trunk-or-treating,” where kids go to a parking lot and walk from car to car to get their goodies.  All well and good I suppose, but in my book, the old fashioned trick-or-treating is still the best entertainment for the kids, young and old.

There, I said it:  old fashioned.  Well what the heck, I’m a dinosaur/hippie/tree hugger/baby boomer guy.  I’m allowed to be a little old fashioned.  We still love Hallowe’en.  My lovely wife (girlfriend) “makes” me watch “The Great Pumpkin” Charlie Brown classic every year.  This year I showed her:  I “made” her watch “The Bride of Frankenstein.”

Our little bumblebee loves Hallowe’en too I think, but for the same primal reason as we had when we were kids.

“What do you like best about Hallowe’en, Ollie??”  I asked today.

“CANDY!!” he said without hesitation.

Ollie’s not quite three, so he won’t be watching any Popeye cartoons at our house for several years. But I couldn’t help but go hunting for a Hallowe’en cartoon so here you go!