Once upon a time, there was an\nIndustrial Computer Flunky (I.C.F.) who was minding his own business\nin the world of a manufacturing plant that uses lift trucks which\nvery easily smoosh handheld scanners and then of course he had to\nscrape the pieces off the floor because it had a repair contract and\nthey will replace the broken oh-fooey-kersmooshlings even though it\nwas our fault but who cares it’s only money and electronic waste and\nthen here comes Filbert Wonkletoes from Zoomophone Networks who was\nsent by someone in The Mother Ship (Corporate Headquarters) to run a\npatch cable from the Good Old Network Thing (G.O.N.T.) to the Brand\nNew Network Thing (B.N.N.T); and hey I could have done that and why\ndidn’t they tell me he was coming but hey I’m just the Onsite\nComputer Flunky (O.C.F.) so who gives a flying mahookey about me\nanyway and HOLY COW this run-on sentence is almost a million words!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
*Whew!! *<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Breathe… breathe…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
OK. It’s just frustrating, ya know?? \nI’m the only Industrial Computer Flunky at the place… so here I go,\ngathering names from poor Filbert Winkletoes and I told him \u201cThis\nis no reflection on you, but who sent you?? I’m really sick of this\nsurprise stuff!! It would be nice to get a ‘heads-up’ to know you’re\ncoming… What if I wasn’t here? What if I had a contagious rash? \nWhat if my tricycle had 3 flat tires?? Doesn’t anyone care about the\nlikes of me??\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Well, OK, I may have only said a small\npart of that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This lack of consideration makes me\nwant to sing the \u201cLeave Me Alone, I’ll Bite You\u201d song:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Leave me alone, I’ll bite\nyou!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Your nose is full of bees.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For why you are mean to me\nin this way??<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You need to eat some\nfleas!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And of course, this would be\nsung to the tune of \u201cLeave Me Alone, I’ll Bite You.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Am I the onliest one in the\nuniverse who is enjoying such communication kaboom? I’m pretty sure\nI’m not. It wouldn’t be so bad if this was an uncommon occurrence;\nbut it’s getting worse and worser and even worserest all the time,\nand my frustration even makes me misuse and invent fake superlatives\nof \u201cworse!\u201d \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Seriously, I consider it bad\nmanners. Is all this because \u201cplan\u201d is a four-letter (so\ntherefore bad<\/strong><\/em>)\nword; and folks are oblivious of the need to play nice\nwhen they formulate one? When I was growing up, if you had a plan\nthat involved others, you let them know ahead of time when they could\nexpect to be part of the plan. Too many folks in my Professional\nUniverse (P.U.) (and yes, it’s beginning to stink) are doing their\nown thing to get stuff done; and not thinking about the possibility\ntheir activities might affect another person’s day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n OK, that’s fine. I’ll fix\nthose monkey-headed wombats! Tell ya what I’m gonna do!! I’m gonna\ncraft a nice e-mail to the Big Kids And Maybe Some Of Their\nUnderlings (B.K.A.M.S.O.T.U.) to alert them of their decribbulous\nputrefaction. Yep! I’m gonna give them what-for <\/strong><\/em>with\nmy shouting words<\/strong><\/em> and abrasive tone<\/strong><\/em> so\nthey’ll instantly snap into shape and communicate like adult people\nwho know how to effectively and courteously <\/strong><\/em>implement a\nplan! And I’ll use lots of bold italics <\/strong><\/em>and\nexclamation points!!!<\/strong><\/em> Then I’m gonna\ncall every single one of them unanimously and sing \u201cLeave Me Alone,\nI’ll Bite You\u201d into their voicemail compartment thing-a-ma-doodles\n(technical talk). Finally, I’ll send them expired donuts in the\nmail. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n Or not… \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n Instead of being fired, I’d\nlike to actually retire<\/strong><\/em> in 5 months and 25 days. But\nwho’s counting??<\/p>\n\n\n\n The communication is almost <\/strong><\/em>as effective as when these guys talked about baseball.<\/p>\n\n\n\n