Several billion years ago (or so it seems) it became tradition that when our grandsons visit, I’d ask for their input to write a silly story for \u201cHappy Friday!!!\u201d One day I asked Ollie, \u201cWhat should I write about tonight?\u201d \u201cThe cows who migrated to Mars,\u201d he replied. So here’s what came out of my fingers to the keyboard:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Once upon ago, there were two cows named Ursula and Henry. Well OK, Henry was actually a bull, but once you get done reading this story you’ll probably think it was just a bunch of bull anyway. Anyway, Ursula and Henry grew tired of farm life and decided to seek adventure in distant lands. This all started one night when they were in the barn, talking about their day.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYep, I ate a few bushels of grass today,\u201d Henry said. \u201cHad some clover in it… not too bad I guess.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Ursula chimed in, \u201cWell I was totally annoyed when I was grazing in the northeast corner. I took a big bite from a yummy patch of rye grass and got mobbed by grasshoppers!! They just hopped right into my mouth!! I swallowed 8 of them before I could say ‘ptooey!!’ \u201c<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Henry tried to comfort Ursula. \u201cWell, I wanna take you on a vacation so both of us can get a little change of scenery,\u201d he said. \u201cSounds good!!\u201d Ursula replied. \u201cBut let’s go somewhere different for a change. I’m tired of just going to the lower 40 acres of the farm.\u201d Henry looked outside the barn window at a glowing heavenly object. \u201cYou see that really bright star?\u201d he asked Ursula. \u201cThat’s not a star at all,\u201d he continued. \u201cThat’s Mars. Let’s go to Mars!!\u201d Ursula said, \u201cand just how do you propose we get there??\u201d Henry answered, \u201cI’ll build a transporter!! I’ve seen them on TV… you just push some buttons and you disappear… then reappear somewhere else!!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Ursula was skeptical, to say the least. But then she remembered when Henry made those cool water balloons using nothing but 5 pounds of bubble gum and some baking powder. She decided that since Henry was her boyfriend, she’d support him no matter what; and she gave him that reassuring wink and a nuzzle and off he went into his workshop behind the barn.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n For several nights, after long days in the pasture, Henry could be heard working diligently. Clanging, grinding, hammering, sawing… even some Public Radio shows being played in the background. Then one night there was a loud CLAP!! while the lights all went dim; followed instantly with a gleeful shout from Henry. \u201cHoly COW!! It works!!\u201d Ursula heard his yell and shouted back, \u201chey buddy, watch your language!!\u201d Henry wasn’t even embarrassed; but came to get Ursula for a demonstration.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAre you sure about this??\u201d Ursula pleaded. \u201cDon’t worry,\u201d Henry urged. \u201cJust step on that little platform and I’ll join you when I get the coordinates programmed into the computer.\u201d Ursula reluctantly complied, and watched intently as Henry twirled knobs and tapped the keyboards. Then he said, \u201cOK!!\u201d and scampered onto the platform where Ursula was waiting. Suddenly, their bodies began to vaporize and vanished from sight.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Within a few milliseconds, Ursula and Henry were standing in the middle of a small town they had never seen before. Both had heard there was life on Mars, but neither of them expected things to look very similar to their own home town. There was a Mars National Bank, and even a flying saucer parked near the road!! \u201cWow, Henry!! This is way cool!! Who would have imagined that life on Mars was so much like that on Earth??!!\u201d Ursula bellowed (hey, she is <\/em>a cow, after all). \u201cI know, right??\u201d said Henry. \u201cHey!!\u201d he continued, \u201cthat Martian looks a lot like a human!! Let’s go ask him what part of Mars this is!!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cExcuse me,\u201d Henry blurted, \u201ccan you tell us what part of Mars this is??\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The human \u201cMartian\u201d answered, \u201cUmmm OK… a talking bull!! Well sonny, you’re in Mars, Pennsylvania.\u201d Henry didn’t know what to say. He gave Ursula a rather embarrassed look, then turned back to the human “Martian” and could only muster one word.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Actually, their journey was exactly like the one Gumby enjoyed, only completely different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n