Greetings, fellow Silver Chinklers,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here\u2019s wishing\nyou the Happiest Merry of all Years, with dotted Ts and crossed eyes\nfollowing all of your newly configured radial sandwich flavors. It\nis very and ultra important that we greet this new year with pledges\nof doing remarkable things. As you may already know, pledges are\nwords that express an intent to do something. Politicians know the\nvalue of a pledge. They use them to get elected and, once in office,\nthey do what they bloody well want. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But there’s\nsomething about the turn of a year that causes many people make\npledges. Intentions are good but sometimes the follow through misses\nthe mark for a variety of reasons. That’s not a bad thing. The\nimportant thing, for me at least, is to try to do better. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sure, we could\nshame ourselves for not living up to New Year’s Resolutions. But\nthis kind of ickyness just gives me the warm fuzzy noodle\nconstipation that every mom loves. In other words, please don’t do\nthat. You are a beautiful person. Yes, I mean YOU. How do I know\nthis? Simple: The Creator does not make junk. We are all\nbeautiful!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Anyway, I\nthought I’d better lay out a plan for my own <\/strong><\/em>self\nimprovement. Therefore, I beg of each of you to elect me as your next\nFilibuster Yakkity Yak Doo Dah Day for 2020. My plan for selfish\nkaboom lies below. What was that again?\u00a0 What was I thinking about…??<\/em> Please pass the pepperoni flakes and the coagulated skim milk.<\/em> Watch out for that tree!! It may have a scale near it!!<\/em> Ummm… you gonna eat that compost??<\/em> Excuse me sire, your toupee is on fire. May I stomp it out for you?<\/em> I especially favor the milk jug socks and the recycled string bikini underwear.<\/em> Alright folks, this is it… you clunk him on the cake eater and I’ll spray him with a completely different shade of yellow.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n and finally: I suspect that\nif you are reading this, you are wealthy also. You don’t think so?? \nOK smartypants, lemme ask you these: Do you have a car? Do you have\nenough to eat? Do any of your clothes fit nicely? Do you have\nfriends? A warm, safe place to sleep? \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n You are wealthy.\n OK??<\/p>\n\n\n\n So I hereby\nbeseech all of you to have a most Wonderful New Year in 2020, the 2nd<\/sup>\nDecade Of The New Millennium with New Millipedes under every log you\nroll. Love your brethren and your cistern. Love your father, your\nmother, and your Mother (Earth). Share what you can with those less\nfortunate than you are. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n And please, be\nkind to yourself and other living things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Peace, Love, and\nHugs,<\/p>\n\n\n\n Kenny<\/p>\n\n\n\n So like… I um… I wanna lose some weight. And I’m gonna quit procrastinating about it, either tomorrow or the next day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Please be not aware that I have\nregurgitated the following Noo Yeer’s Revolutions:
1) To\nremind myself that I need to remember those things which I can’t seem\nto recall.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
R) To lose weight, gain it back, lose it again, and lose some more until my nostrils can be used for sidewalk painting without fear of changing lanes abruptly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
24) To change lanes abruptly so all weight loss can be vehemently avoided.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
++) To boldly go where no earthworm has ever dined before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
3X) To be nice to all people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
T5) To dress in all recyclable clothing, in order to lighten the load on my laundry licking machine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Z44) To unite all small countries in a global effort to stop Homer Simpson from eating my cake.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
9) To sing loudly about how wonderful it is to be alive, ever reminding myself that work is a joy and that complaining is tantamount to feeding dog food to caterpillars. In other words, no matter how badly I think I have it, I am really a wealthy person. I have received many gifts from The Creator. As Alistair Sim said in my favorite Christmas movie (Scrooge) “I don’t deserve to be so happy, but I can’t help it.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n