I may have accidentally announced my\nplans to retire in March of this year. That’s only a few\nmilliseconds away!! That’s what happens when you get older…\ninstead of days, months, and years, your life begins to zoom around\nin milliseconds. For example, our oldest grandson was born 11\nmilliseconds (years) ago this month!!! How can this be??? Yes, I\nunderstand very well that frogs lke to say that \u201ctime’s fun when\nyou’re having flies.\u201d Still, this time zoom is a very harsh\nreality for gentle people like us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So what was I talking about again?? Oh\nyeah, retirement. Yes. I’m gonna retire soon. And lots of folks\nare asking, \u201cwhatchya gonna do?? Any plans??\u201d That’s when I\nmention that I’d maybe like to sell some of my writings to various\npublications. Then I get this puzzled look, very similar to when a\ndog tilts its head toward the stereo speakers because it hears\nsomething weird from a Pink Floyd song. \u201cWell,\u201d I explain, \u201cwhen\nI was laid off back in ’92, I worked for a small newspaper for a\nwhile. Didn’t pay much but I had lots of fun. I was thinking about\nswitching careers from technology to writing, but it became obvious\nthat my family would have to survive on beans and rice for a long\ntime before I got established.’\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nice dream though. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have other grandiose plans too, which\nI believe will (not) be much more successful. Here are some that\nI’m completely (un)certain will produce great wealth and fiddle dee\ndee:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
1 \u2013 Gotta take all those soda bottles\nand cans back and collect the deposit. Maybe I’ll wait till summer\nand take my bicycle… pick up more along the way!! As my wife likes\nto say, \u201cten cents is ten cents!!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
L \u2013 I thought about selling my body\nto science, but then I learned that you have to be dead first. I’m\nnot sure how I would be able to spend all the money I receive when\nI’m dead, unless I can figure out a way to be dead while I’m alive. \nI’ll have to noodle on that one a bit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
9 \u2013 When friends come to visit, I’ll\nstage some impromptu \u201cliving auctions.\u201d That’s a term I just\nmade up which entails selling household items to the highest bidder\nduring meals. This activity will not only fatten my wallet but will\nalso give my friends the unique opportunity to own some of the most\ncollectible West Michigan artifacts (many of which are actually made\nin China).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
G \u2013 Two words: Used Food. So simple, right?? I saw this referenced on what seemed to be a very nicely maintained truck, so the market for used food must be very strong. On the back of this rather attractive vehicle was a nice slogan in large print: \u201cDealers In Used Food.\u201d Must be a hot deal because the truck belonged to what appeared to be a rather successful septic service company. So like, these guys are making money on food after <\/strong><\/em>it’s been eaten!! Pure genius.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 26\n\u2013 I’ll become a quick change artist. \u201cHey buddy, you got two\ntens for a five??\u201d \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n and\nfinally (for now):<\/p>\n\n\n\n 4K\n\u2013 I’ll bottle up some of our fresh country air and sell it to city\nslickers. With all the pollution controls being abandoned these\ndays, this idea just might take off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Anyway,\none thing I think I’ll really <\/strong><\/em>do\nduring retirement is have more Cake. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n I really like Cake.<\/p>\n\n\n\n