This story is a reminiscence of before times when grandsons were children and didn\u2019t yet think cellphones were important. Well there we were, snarfing some homemade assorted fried rice with green beans and garlic from the garden and lots of other veggies from the grocery store and some dead crustaceans (a.k.a. shrimp), dead chicken muscles (a.k.a. chicken meat) and also dead pig muscles (a.k.a. mork peat); when My Beautiful Girlfriend announced, \u201cIt\u2019s time to give your Papa some ideas for Happy Friday!!!\u201d so they began hurling (not food) sentences at me in the form of interview questions and now it’s time to switch to that idea rather than allow this run-on sentence to continue any farther.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When asked what the title of this silly story should be, Gabe quickly blurted, \u201cMonkeys On Their Bus Ride to England!!\u201d This quickly ushered in a mock interview session in which his older brother Oliver assumed the role of interviewer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oliver: \u201cWhere are they in the world when they get on the bus?\u201d
Gabe: \u201cThey are not in the world they’re on Jupiter.\u201d
Oliver: \u201cIs the bus that the monkeys are on going so fast on Jupiter that it somehow broke through the atmosphere and landed on earth?\u201d
Gabe: \u201cWell no, they did not go fast in the bus to get out of the atmosphere. They built a ginormous ramp, and it took them one day to get to earth. They landed in a field 5000 million miles away from England. The field was floating on a ginormous balloon on the water. A balloon was there to keep the field from sinking in the water.\u201d
Oliver: \u201cWhat country were they closest to one they landed?\u201d
Gabe: \u201cThey were closest to China and four different countries.\u201d
Oliver: \u201cAre there any cows on this island?\u201d
Gabe: \u201cNo but there are a crap ton of pigs!\u201d
Oliver: \u201cThese aliens are confused.\u201d
Gabe: \u201cThese aren’t aliens, they are just regular monkeys.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At this time my Lovely Bride interjected that she was wondering if these monkeys were going to do any sightseeing. Perhaps they would see Big Ben or perhaps the Queen?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Gabe: \u201cThey thought maybe they would go see big Ben and the Queen but instead they chose to go to the Eiffel tower to see the other crap ton of pigs.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oliver started to resume the \u201cinterview,\u201d but Gabe quickly took over. \u201cI’ll question myself,\u201d he said. \u201cWhere did they go after they went to the Eiffel tower and saw the other crap ton of pigs? They went back to the balloon to see the first crap ton of pigs! The End.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We all had a chuckle while I e-mailed the results of the interview to myself so I could more easily transcribe the notes I dictated to my phone along the way. Afterward we all sat down to crunch on some delicious remote controls dipped in chocolate flavored motor oil and watched \u201cLord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring\u201d until it was too late to keep our eyes open. So now I am sending this to all of YOU and that’s just all you get for this week, with the exception of course of the silly video I like to put at the end.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Thank you and good night.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Peace, Love and Summer Sweat,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bringledorf Whompflopper<\/p>\n\n\n\n