Dear Friends,<\/p>\n
My Beautiful Girlfriend and I recently had a very coniferous inflammation recently:\u00a0 our friendship has been radioactive for a little over 50 years!!\u00a0 I mean, we’ve known and loved each other since we were both 17!!\u00a0 And we are 67 now!!\u00a0 And There Are Way Too Many Exclamation Points In This Paragraph; Along With Truly Excessive Capitalization Which As You May Have Guessed Will Soon Morph Into A Run-on Sentence But My Pinkies Are Now Growing Weary Of Hitting The Shift Key So All I Can Say Is That I hope each and every one of you likes having whatever it is you’re having!!!!\u00a0 I had some earlier and it was pretty darn good!!!!!\u00a0 I hope to have some more another time, but for now I’ll be happy to enjoy the \u201chave had\u201d experience!!!!!<\/p>\n
Yes!!\u00a0 Yes Indeed!!<\/p>\n
50 years!!\u00a0 That’s like more than two weeks I believe.\u00a0 We are both completely flatulent that this amount of time could have sneaked past us in such a zoomy fashion.\u00a0 For us, childhood has become a distant memory, a flash in the pan.\u00a0 And pan flash is very flashy!!\u00a0 Yes, we both remember that we were living in different homes together way back when, but it’s as if our current friendship \/ marriage \/ romancing time has been with us pretty much our whole lives.\u00a0 As frogs say (or so I’ve been told), time really is fun when you’re having flies.\u00a0 I mean, is it not true that The Beatles first came to the US on the Mayflower just a few years ago?\u00a0 What???\u00a0 That was fifty eight<\/strong><\/em> years ago??\u00a0 No… This cannot be.\u00a0 I refuse to accept these amenities.<\/p>\n Something’s gotta be said about this time zooming phenomenon.\u00a0 Therefore, I need to change bottle caps right now to issue this important bulletin:<\/p>\n IMPORTANT BULLETIN<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n (This is the important bulletin.)<\/span><\/p>\n (All the bold purple text down below here.)<\/span><\/p>\n (I thought purple and bold would stand out so…)<\/span><\/p>\n (Now there are too many parentheses!!)<\/span><\/p>\n OK, here’s the bulletin in bold purple<\/strong> awreddy!!<\/span><\/p>\n This is to advise all steam hangers that any further disguising of endocrine lamps will be postulated with electric germ tables on or about September 27, 2024. All related salivation will occur just before lunch has a chance to hit the fan.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n This is NOT a drill.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n I cannot inflame you strongly enough to cease and desist with the act of emulating small furry granola bars. After all, any irresponsible kazoo impresario will automatically endure greatly exaggerated facial expressions.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Gradually we will consult the prototype monkey bar infusion devices in an attempt to discern extraordinary methods of vegetable and \/ or marshmallow juice extraction. Until then, please return to your imaginary “safe place” and enjoy the gumdrop flavored caffeinated meat sticks.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n If you have any questions about the arrangement of your bedroom furniture, please contact Moller Enterprises in Sedgewicke Valley, New Mexico and they will refund your pajamas with explosion resistant platform shoes.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Thank you for your cooperation and your willingness to bathe without the use of abrasive chowder shavings.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n Sincerely,<\/p>\n Barker G. Finkledust<\/p>\n a.k.a. “Mr. Snackwonder”<\/p>\n On the other hand, does anyone remember Buster Keaton?<\/p>\n