Please enjoy the clam sandwiches currently available at the Old New Dehli Deli. You will find the sam clandwiches right next to the Belly Jellies, in the frinkle sauce department of a Kolibbik store near you.
You may qualify for a package of used cheese. Please do not write to the following address to see if you have entered your name in the North American Bilge Experience (NABE):
Log Turner Contest
24Cx Bugsnot Blvd.
Chiclet, MI 44404
Please call 1-800-555-1212 for the number. Ask for Phlegm.
Be advised that all nickels will be collected by a rodent during the coming drainy season. Do not worry about any plugged drains, for as we all know if a plain gets drugged there are more than enough socks to prevent the chafing. Hey!! What’s that gourd doing with the cat food now??
Now of course you can be happy to know that I have more paper for sale than ever before. Some of it is useful. If you want some, send $23.70 in dickels and nimes to my pet dirt clump over there in the hedgerow. Upon receiving the money, I will send you your 43 tons of compressed paper. Please make sure the car is not in the garage that day.
If any of this makes sense to you, make sure you contact your local Hamper Salesman by July 27, 2019 . There are also community resources on which you can rely, such as the Cribbled Office Of Pie Stashers (COOPS) and the Ceramic Octagon Plucking Society (COPS). Neither of these entities will run to your aid. Therefore, if you understand any of what has been written heretofore, you are basically toast.
Enjoy toast with all your might. Remember, the toast you crave may be on loan.
Happy Bortinkulars to you, and may the sand never fly into your cereal.
My eyes are lamps,
Kebbic G. Fefflewonk
A.K.A. Harvey Ticknoodle
P.S.: Thank you for changing the tire leggings last night. I’m not sure my car would have tolerated another month of “swish – swish KABOOM!!”