“Well I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in.” If you remember that from a song, you may not want to admit it; because it probably means you’re as old as me. And as many of you know, I’m old enough to remember when The Beatles came to the U.S. on the Mayflower.
You see, my Beautiful Girlfriend is “The Boss.” And no, for you older people like me, I do not mean that my Beautiful Girlfriend is Bruce Springsteen!! Ock!! Ptoo!! No, I mean she really is the boss of me; pretty much… and to a much lesser extent, I am the boss of her. This wonderful compromise was reached many years ago in the interest of domestic tranquility.
“The Boss” is on a 3 day sojourn with two of her women friends. They decided to drive up to Mackinac City to enjoy the rain (pea sized hail from what I’ve heard). Well, I’m sure the trip’s fun did not include rain, but that’s what they’re getting up there. My Honey Pie mentioned she was looking forward to some caramel corn “because I’ll be on vacation.” We have pretty much cut sugary stuff out of our diet these days you see. Her anticipation of goodies got my mind whirling about a bit. You know, like hey, I think it’s a good opportunity for me to enjoy some not-so-normal foodstuffs. Anyway, there’s some old saying like, “when the boss is away the mouse will eat greasy foods and other delicious things.”
My thoughts also started dashing about with ideas. Some things like: “hmmm let’s see… what kind of FUN can I have while my Beautiful Girlfriend (The Boss) is gone?? OK… there’s still some tilling waiting in the garden. Gotta get those potatoes in the ground, way overdue!! Guess I better scoop the kitty box so Freddie the Freeloader (our used-to-be feral kitty) doesn’t get bummed out. Maybe I’ll watch one of those 1930’s horror movies. OH FOOEY!!! My Honey left her lunch bag on the counter!!!”
She wasn’t due to leave on her trip until after work today, I’m sure she would have gotten a bit hungry in the meantime. So what did I do when I saw that bag sitting there? I grabbed it and hopped in the car for delivery!! Twenty two miles round trip… and gas is not really cheap right now but hey, this is my Honey Pie we’re talking about!!
I’m very grateful that I don’t get irate about such things anymore. When I was young and foolish, that would have been fodder for a nasty exchange of crab sauce, which would have done little more than perpetuate the stereotype of male verbal flatulence. I’m not so young anymore but I still know how to be foolish. But no, I just basically left it at FLARN!!(or something), zoomed up to her work place, and continued dreaming of more fun stuff I could do while The Boss was gone. I mean, hey, this is party time!!
Let’s see… maybe get more tilling and planting done if it’s not raining… maybe get the trailer and go get compost from the dump… it’s free you know. Oh wait, the politically correct term for the dump is “the transfer station.” Oh and I’ll have to mow the lawn before she gets pack. Ssshhh don’t tell anyone but I sneaked up to the local ice cream joint and got me two scoops of Deer Traxx on a waffle cone. Oh and I may have accidentally bought some garlic bologna and some salami from Mac’s Meats. Oh and tomorrow… hold on to your hats kids… tomorrow I’m getting some take out pizza!! Am I a party animal or what?? But hey, The Boss is gone, so I can party!! My party days may have shifted somewhat… believe it or not I’m looking forward to all of those things.
Well…maybe not that “scooping the kitty box” part.
Speaking of parties… If you’re old like me, or even if you’re not, you can’t hold a candle to a Betty Boop Hallowe’en party.