A Special Request

Our grandsons are visiting; which is always a joyous time. During dinner, Ollie gave me a request:

“Papa, are you going to write that thing again tonight after we watch cartoons?”

“You mean ‘Happy Friday!!!’ ?” I replied.

“Yeah!!” he said, with a beckoning look.

“Oh… you want me to print it for you?” I asked; but within a fraction of a second he was nodding insistently.

“Well, I was gonna write about AM radio,” I cautioned. “But I bet I can find you something funny!”

His eyes twinkled and he cracked a broad smile. Needless to say, this “Happy Friday!!!” is not going to be about AM radio (although I still think it’s really cool). No, today will be a brand new silly one… and I’m even going to try my hand without the help of that Hyram C. Gilmore guy that fills in for me from time to time (nudge-nudge, wink-wink).

I think I’ll start with a poem:

For The Love Of Candy

by Ken Hansen

We all had some fun at the Christmas Parade.

‘Twas really quite warm, although clouds brought some shade.

Marching bands marched while the drummers all drummed.

Flutes fluted, horns horned, but nobody hummed.

Folks in their costumes all looked very dandy;

And many were throwing (or passing out) candy!!

When we got home, the candy bags bulged;

Gabe and Ollie said “please?” and oh boy they indulged.

After a while I took both bags away

But promised them more a bit later that day.

I said, “see all those chocolates and suckers and sugars?

Well, now you have something to eat besides boogers!!”

(I know that’s gross but keep in mind I’m writing this to make my grandson smile.)

On the other hand, I think I’ll ask both Ollie and Gabe to wash the kitty litter with toothpaste and Chicken Lamp Soup so we can all enjoy another car tasting contest. It takes a lot of skill to taste cars, especially when their eyes are shooting butter globs out of the tailpipe whistle.

Ah yes, good old tailpipe whistle globs. Aren’t those just wonderful on a nice piece of cracked clam shell toasting waffle? Yes, of course you do. In fact, I distinctly remember the time both of my shoes had broccoli oozing out of the chimney faucets. Those were simpler times when rabbits knew how to yodel much more quietly than they do on Sundays. Please, do not put any more ketchup in my coat pocket.

Of course, we must finish this silly story with a small space animal that can write its own name with the largest pile of applesauce this side of the Martian Mud Watering Festival. Small space animals generally have names like “Big Giant Tiny Guy” or “Totally Huge Very Little Donut Flattener.” I’ve never met any of these strange beings; possibly because I just invented them with my stainless steel curtain softeners.

Very well then. Please give Love to All You See; and try to remember ask them to Give Your Papa Some Really Delicious Cake. Also, Ask Them Not To Capitalize Every Word In A Sentence; Because It’s Just Not The Way Squirrels Are Supposed To Explode.

Thank you, and please feel free to use cheese to stay warm on those cold winter grocery store power tools.

Speaking of cartoons… here’s the kind of thing to which we subject our grandkids.  I know I’m a dinosaur but when it comes to cartoons, the oldies are still the best.  We actually watched this one just before we ushered them off to bed.