A Special Request

Many of my friends and family have been asking me, “How’s it going?” My answer: “Well things are RFW right now.” The reply is “What’s RFW?” And my reply is “Really F*%king Weird.” They know why that is of course… and because of that I hope they’ll all excuse the letting loose of some recycled nonsense for this week’s silly scribble. You see, I’ve been tringling lately, and of course that could be construed as something that never resembled a bowl of dust chowder hiding in my furnace pillows.

On the other hand, next time I see them, I think I’ll ask both of my grandsons to wash the kitty litter with toothpaste and Chicken Lamp Soup so we can all enjoy another car tasting contest. It takes a lot of skill to taste cars, especially when their eyes are shooting butter globs out of the tailpipe whistle.

Ah yes, good old tailpipe whistle globs. Aren’t those just wonderful on a nice piece of cracked clam shell toasting waffle? Yes, of course you do. In fact, I distinctly remember the time both of my shoes had broccoli oozing out of the chimney faucets. Those were simpler times when rabbits knew how to yodel much more quietly than they do on Sundays.

Please, do not put any more ketchup in my coat pocket.

I am still a bit wonky after my Beautiful Girlfriend flew off to Heaven; so I hope you will all coagulate my indivisibility regarding this short but sweet Happy Friday!!! thing that’s happening right here. So sweet is the shortness of this story that I’m going to march down those stairs (the ones that go from up here to down there) and offer a shiny new dime to the first pencil sharpener that is willing to amplify my nasal tentacles.

Of course, we must finish this silly story with a small space animal that can write its own name with the largest pile of applesauce this side of the Martian Mud Watering Festival. Small space animals generally have names like “Big Giant Tiny Guy” or “Totally Huge Very Little Donut Flattener.” I’ve never met any of these strange beings; possibly because I just invented them with my stainless steel curtain softeners.

Very well then. Please give Love to All You See; and try to remember ask them to Give Me Some Really Delicious Cake. Also, Ask Them Not To Capitalize Every Word In A Sentence; Because It’s Just Not The Way Squirrels Are Supposed To Explode.Thank you, and please feel free to use this special cheese to stay warm on those cold, steamy grocery store power tools.

It’s in the cheese drawer.

At this time I must force you to watch one of my very favorite cartoons. That is unless of course you choose not to do so.