Perhaps I’m being simplistic, or maybe even a bit crinkly; but my professional opinion on current events is that while Omicron is trying to jump deeply inside of everyone’s nostrils, there are tactics which must be employed in order to mitigate the chaotic, herky-jerky economic impact; and of course only the serotonin elevating condition of a belly full of comfort food can initiate such mitigation; and a run-on sentence that is confusing at best is not necessarily an effective way to remove radioactive skin particles from the soles of our shoes.

I think, maybe.

We had a cataclysmic event recently: the bucket of potatoes I harvested this fall were all starting to sprout!! Oh God oh God!! After a week or so of noticing this phenomenon, I leapt into action yesterday and embarked upon a food processing expedition. I cleaned all the dirt off (they keep much better if you leave the dirt on), removed the sprouty things (forgive my technical horticultural jargon), and most were converted into comfort food. The biggest ones were blanched and flash frozen to enjoy another time.

So yes my friends, in an effort to feed my Beautiful Girlfriend and my Me some comfort food, which I expounded upon in the first paragraph, I made a modified version of Mom’s Hot Dog Soup. Did you get any? No, you did not. We had some for dinner twice times now; and it was simply scrumptious. Do you want me to invite you over for some? I would be happy to invite you on the condition that you refuse to come. So there!! Ha ha!! I laugh to you. You must make your own, OK? Here’s how:

Mom’s Hot Dog Soup (modified version).

Note: this recipe makes a LOT of soup.

Ingredients

3 lbs. Potatoes

2 yellow onions (about 3 inches in diameter or a bit larger)

2 stalks of celery

2 carrots

8 hot dogs

2 tablespoons of parsley flakes

1 teaspoon of rubbed sage

1 teaspoon of thyme leaves

1 teaspoon rosemary

1 teaspoon garlic powder (granulated… please don’t use garlic dust)

1 tablespoon butter

1 cup milk (or for low-calorie, use half and half)

salt to taste

Here’s what must be done:

1 – Clean (but don’t peel) the potatoes, dice, throw into a large pot from at least 7 feet away (or closer if you want them in the pot).

& – Cover the potatoes with water and cook till tender; drain but save the broth.

T – Mash the potatoes with butter and milk (I used half and half instead of milk)

9 – Add broth back to desired thickness (a little bit thick is good). You can add more water if you like, but we like it thick.

G – Peel and dice the onions, thinly slice (but do not peel) the carrots, celery, and hot dogs (who peels celery or hot dogs anyway??), then wiggle your hiney a bit in anticipation.

12 – Toss the chopped up stuff into the pot using a 13 foot ramp positioned at a 60 degree angle (you may also simply drop them in). This can be done while singing your favorite Devo song.

Y6 – Simmer on medium / low heat (if it starts bubbling, back the heat off slightly) and stir often while adding sage, garlic, thyme (about a heaping teaspoon of each), rosemary, and LOTS of parsley flakes (about 2 tablespoons of dried) while stirring. Enjoy the aroma and wiggle your eyebrows in a happy and anticipatory manner.

M* – Cover while simmering.

8L – Hey!! Don’t leave this unattended!!! You wanna ruin it?? I mean, you gotta stir often, OK?? Just check it regularly please. Especially make sure your wooden spoon (or whatever your favorite stirring thingy is) scrapes the bottom of the pot while stirring so you don’t get any clingons.

Xs – Salt to taste. Dinner is ready when the carrots and celery are tender.

I must warn you about this food: although “Hot Dog Soup” sounds weird, this stuff is truly delicious and you may have difficulty leaving it alone. I suppose you could call it “Potato Soup With Hot Dogs,” but Mom called it Hot Dog Soup; so obviously that is the correct terminology. It was a simple yet nourishing meal she served to satiate us 4 kids. None of us ever complained when Hot Dog Soup was on the menu. She never taught me how to make it, but I think I got the basics down pretty good. She kept it simple though: I think all she used was potatoes, butter (well probably margarine), milk, hot dogs, onions, and some salt. Fast forward to the present: we’ve had it twice now, and I’m hoping my Lovely Bride will allow one more go around tomorrow. The rest will be frozen for another time. Holy MOLY it’s good!! But you wouldn’t know… you didn’t get any, did you? Nope!! Again I laugh to you.

So go ahead and make some! I double D Dare ya!!

Might want to pay attention to your veggies… especially at night.