A very merry who’s a what now?? Yes, that’s right, A Very Merry Malapropism To You. Some of you might wonder, “What the heck-a-ma-lookey is a malapropism??” Or perhaps not!! Well according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a malapropism (pronounced mal-uh-PROPE-ism) is:
The usually unintentionally humorous misuse or distortion of a word or phrase
especially : the use of a word sounding somewhat like the one intended but ludicrously wrong in the context.
What can I say, I love to play with English. It often makes my whole self laugh at myself. And that can be a very good thing. My professional opinion is this: there is so much ickety boo in the world, we need to take a break and laugh a bit once in awhile. I’ve learned long ago not to do this at anyone else’s expense, no matter how much I would like to (yes, I’m human…).
So one of my favorite ways to play with English is to inject malapropisms into my speech or writing. For example, my son came over for dinner yesterday. I was hoping to find a DiGiorno’s supreme pizza at the store but for some reason they weren’t in stock. So, I settled for a rising crust plaza with sausage and pepperonly. As you can see, I not only misuse words, but I misuse the eye deer of pudding two words to gather even when they don’t belong.
Because it’s fun.
Hope everyone had simply marvelous holly day season. We enjoyed a very nice time with just our intermediate family… my daughter and son-in-law, two grandsons, my son and me. The six of us traveled to Florida in separate cars together (son and I rode together). It was rather weird having Christmas with out the Mom of the family (my Beautiful Honey Pie); so my daughter thought a trip to Florida would be a good disk traction.
No add traction stuff for us this time. No Disney World (makes me barf), no See World (yuck), no Universal theme park (did that last year). Nope. Instead, we went to St. Augustine to see the very old Spanish fart with very old canyons and we got in for free because I’m a veteran and I never knew that all veterans can get a lifetime free pass to ALL national parks and they didn’t charge ANY of us for admission; witch, in my professional opinion was, like totally cool and hey, there’s my first run-on sentence of the year so I hope that helps you smile just a little bit.
Then we went to Ripley’s Believe It Or Not museum. That was very enjoyable, egg specially since my Lovely Wife and I went there with our two kids when they were much younger peep pull. Lastly we went to a medieval torcher museum which caused me to be very sad in my heart (seriously) because of the audio guide which described in detail how all the terrible things are used. I went into the rooms ahead of the gang so I could quickly be reminded of how horrible people can be to each other, but I waited outside while they went in and listened to the audio guide.
Ouch!! Yuck!! Ptoo!!!!
Awl in awl, we had a very nice trip, in spite of the crazy drivers who zipped in and out of traffic as if they owned the hole road. I found myself wishing they would fall into a hole in the road, but I wouldn’t really wish anyone to be harmed so I guess they should knot really fall into a whole. Butt they sure do drive like may knee acts. Those are the lunar tunes who cause accidents, ya know what I’m saying??
Sew now I’m home, and there are so many things to do. It’s probably gonna take me some time to play ketchup; butt that’s OK… since I’ve bean retired I try hard not to put too much pretzel on myself. I mean really, who kneads the stretch of shelf imposed deadlines? Those can be way too stretchable for me; and one thing I don’t need is more stench. No… I prefer a calm existence and make it a point to enjoy each moment. There are times when I try to quiet my mind through transcontinental medication, but too often I get random thoughts that distract me from calming my nerds ineffectively.
Anyway, hope all of you are having a very nice 2025. So far so good for me. Perhaps one day I’ll develop a style of writing that doesn’t involve frivolously misused words (or even made up words).
Ummm… no. I don’t think so.
Well, this guy never did much with word mangling, but he always made me laugh.