Well holy moley. This year has started off with much weeping and gnashing of teeth, and I don’t know about youse kids but this here kid is not only about to embark upon a run-on sentence, but I’m gonna repeat the Serenity Prayer at least 187 times per second, possibly for the next 3 years if necessary unless things in our world change abruptly which of course doesn’t seem likely so I guess I’ll just do that prayer I just mentioned and in case you are don’t knowing what it is I will present it to you at this time:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
And then I read / listen to / watch the news and I say, “Oy yoy yoy!!” and I pray some more.
But on the other hand, I hope you have 5 fingers but even if you do not, I still love you. And because of that, I thought I’d share some very silly thoughts that came out of my brain and onto the keyboard during my work years. My work friends and I were in the IT computer universe, so the job got a bit hectic at times. In other words, stress would cause us to roll on the floor while drooling and singing songs backwards.
Those of you who know me are aware that I am often silly. Therefore, my “go-to” reaction to stress is to write nonsensical ha ha stuff. Text messaging software is a marvelous tool for “spreading the cheer,” so to speak, and by golly that’s just what I did. I sent at least one silly message a day to many of my friends, using cut-and-paste to plop my silly stuff, one text at a time, to my peers. Was this a good use of work time?? YES!! My professional opinion: if work is no fun, find another job, am I right??
One of my friends asked me, “Are you saving these?? You could make a book!!” So lo and behold, I made a document and started saving them. So without any further ado, I’m gonna share some with you. I’ve categorized them with a little title on each little ditty. Hope these help you stay distracted for just a little while.
OK… here goes:
Mastodons
In prehistoric times, Neanderthals employed Mastodons plow their fields. However, they also learned that Mastodons only understood “ugga bugga,” a language that never existed.
Vote For Me!!
In the upcoming 2026 election, I’m running for Resident of The United States. Although I have 71 years of experience, I don’t care about the number of votes. Just kick in to my fund raising campaign at www.kakahead.com
My Cat
By applying mustard on my cat’s eyebrows, I can feel confident his festive appearance will give him great joy among his peers.
Barking At The Moon
Tonight I plan to enjoy a nice dinner of Cream of Dogfood Soup with a grilled Kibbles ‘n Bits sandwich. All this will precede a raucous 3 hour session of barking at the moon.
Mustard
Not sure who the culprit is so I’m asking everyone: please stop substituting my mustard with the Purple Sludge. The fridge is starting to vibrate between 2 and 3:37 AM.
Shrimp
Tomorrow’s breakfast: Please prepare some shrimp on the half shell with a side dish of deep fried moth tongues. I’ll wash it down with a nice avocado / eggplant smoothie; after which I’ll run for the men’s room. Thank you!!
Noodles
None of my noodles fizz anymore. Therefore, I have concluded that my pasta harvesting rake is defective.
Growing Hair
I’ve decided to grow my hair out of follicles instead of pulling it out of those tiny access hole thingies. Besides, everyone knows that chocolate does not grow on fleas.
Raisin Bran
My least favorite food additive is carbon fiber monoxide. It’s supposed to keep me “regular,” but it’s made by filtering auto exhaust through a bowl of raisin bran. It’s also illegal to make this product everywhere except on the subtropical island of Okka Pitoo.
Used Muffins
During my retirement I may need some supplemental income. I will have used muffins for sale by the pound. These are multipurpose: serve them to your least favorite people or add them to the soil in flowerbeds or beneath shrubs (not recommended in the vegetable garden).
And last but probably also least…
Happy Friday
Happy Friday!! May your ears enjoy delicious flavors; and may your nostrils flutter softly in the breeze.
Peace, Love, and Hugs,
Kenny
Well I hope that helped. Just to make sure, here comes a silly cartoon.