I’ve been very busy thinking about the world and all its problems. In doing so, I’ve become increasingly aware that I cannot solve much… but what I can do is try the very best I can to improve the environment I find myself in at any given time. I try to be kind and loving to every soul I meet. I also do my best to respect Mother Nature. So anyway I feel I’ve learned a few things over the years; and have gathered some words of wisdom I wish to present to you at this time for your reading pleasure.

I may have made some of these up…

0!) First rule: don’t sweat the small stuff. Second rule: Everything is small stuff.

z) Don’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things.

L) You can pick radishes before they are ripe, and they will still be red.

6) I’ve learned to be grateful for my big nose… it keeps my feet dry when it rains.

@) If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. If life gives you peaches, make applesauce.

14) Listen… do you smell something?

8x) I keep my snacks in folders so I can organize them according to calorie content.  However, some snacks are not easily folded.

&) Some Of The Most Delicious Snacks In The Previous Entry Item (8x) Are Capitalized To Enhance Their Complete Lack Of Nutritional Value.

Bu) Only the best Yo Vonkeny may be stored under the Mizzlepop Trees.

r9) I really need to quit stuffing donuts in my ears. But they are so soft!!

Woo) My window snakes can’t jump anymore; but on a scale of 1 to 34 it smells like root beer is my favorite color of the alphabet.

And finally, that age-old proclamation of mine:

It’s always better to be you than for you to be me; and although you can count to it, EIGHT is a word.

Thank you for enduring this horribly inflammable laundry hallucination. May you always be cheerful and incredibly crinkly during your remaining Earth years.

I’m going back to bed now, but not until after the video.

Sincerely But Inexpensively Yours,

Halvert Bonklesnorts
Inventor of Dead Trees