Valentine’s Day is on the horizon, and believe it or not, I’m ready for it. That became fairly easy some years ago. All I have to do really is get a card; and of course some flowers. My Beautiful Girlfriend and I stopped buying Valentine’s Day presents some years ago. The primary reason for that was we got to a point where we had plenty of stuff. In fact, I have stuff strewn all over my office that I suspect may be having babies. Seems like I cleaned this up like only a year ago; yet the stuff seems to be multiplying somehow. All kinds of pens, a battery, a little tiny tape measure, a bigger tape measure, an eraser (an eraser??) miscellaneous receipts from bills, envelopes, oy yoy yoy yoy yoy.

So anyway, here I am, typing amongst all the stuff; being grateful that my Lovely Honey Pie will not add to the pile because we changed the Valentine’s Day Gift Policy (VDGP), and also being grateful that I’ve learned through many Crowded Flower Shop Years (CFSY) that if you’re silly enough to buy your sweetie some flowers the day before (or even worse, the day OF) Valentine’s Day, you must prepare to wait in line for many minutes and then try to pick out a nice bouquet of flowers out of a gaggle of containers filled with blooms that have been fondled to oblivion by other guys scrambling to meet the deadline; and this may be one of my longest run-on sentences I’ve written in a very long time but I don’t care because I went on WEDNESDAY to get flowers and ha ha on all of youse because I scored some really nice blossoms and I didn’t have to wait or nutting so nyaa nyaa na boo boo on the likes of YOUSE BOYS!!

Yes!! And I got the card a week ago!! So there!! And a little surprise too!! So there again!!!

I’ll show youse…

This Valentine’s Day will be followed by a rather historic event for our family though: my Beautiful Girlfriend is getting knee replacement surgery. Pretty scary stuff, no matter how many people who’ve been there and done that tell you “oh she’s gonna love it.” We’re doing our best to prevent negative thoughts from ricocheting around in our noggins. Has us both a little nervous though. Her especially. But the poor baby has had a knee that’s been bone-on-bone for some time now and it’s been increasingly painful for her to get around.

Don’t know about you, but when something like major surgery comes into our lives we seek comfort and counsel from friends and family. We’re both blessed with people who love us and are willing to share their experience, strength, and hope with us and yet listen to our apprehensions. Because I work in a factory, I’m also blessed with a number of work friends with whom I can talk. And, being the silly boy that I am, I usually sprinkle a little humor into the stress venting:

“I’ll be gone all next week,” I told a friend at work.

“Oh? Going south?” he asked.

“Well, yeah kinda… my wife is getting a new knee on Monday and the surgery will happen south of us a little ways. I’m staying home with her for the first week after the surgery.”

“Oh, OK,” he said with a smile.

“Yeah,” I continued, “she’s getting her low knee replaced; not her hiney.”

“OK…” was the response with gradually lowering intonation. “Never heard of anyone getting a hiney replaced.” And of course both of us chuckled a bit.

Friends have rallied in support already; lending us a walker, cane, a recliner, and other stuff to help her on her way to recovery. We are very fortunate people.

So when my baby asked “whatchya gonna write about tonight?” I let the cat out of the bag and said, “your low knee and your hiney.”

And that’s all the information on her hiney that anybody’s gonna get!!

Fortunately, our my Honey’s surgeon has an impeccable reputation. Not, I hope, like this strange physician…