Once upon a time my amazing partner Debi and her theater friend Connie didn’t leave yet but pretty soon they will be heading to Noo Yawk City to see a bunch of Broadway shows and she asked me if I wanted to go and I said “Well, I’m way behind in the garden so not right now;” and then she asked if I was OK with her going and I said “Sure;” and so she and Connie are heading out Sunday night late for a choo choo train ride to The Big Apple but the train tracks are kaputt so they have to take a bus (YUCK) to Toledo but they will have the train all the way home and don’t you think I should cease and desist with this run-on sentence awreddy??

Yes, I should; so I will. *Whew!!* that’s better.

Anywho-how, I will be left unsupervised for a week with her dog Zippy and my two cats Luna and Ivy Anne. I may or may not choose to party down in her absence. Who am I fooling?? I will indeed party down!! You see, Debi and I were raised on different food things while growing up. She has always been vegetarian… and I have always been an omnivore. Well, not always. My wife and I were vegetarian for many moons during the first several years of our marriage. We also enjoyed numerous meatless meals even after we resumed eating meat. Although I’m very satisfied with vegetarian meals (I’m the cook); I sometimes get a hankering for the food that comes from dead animals.

Mmmm yesss… I found a package of shrimp in the freezer yesterday. That will definitely be on the menu sauteed with garlic and fresh garden greens. Maybe have it with the frozen leftover vegetarian jambalaya I made last week. And I believe I’ll get me some freshly harvested fried chicken that was picked from those amazing fried chicken bushes by carefully trained artisans at the local grocery store deli. Yes, that would be truly delicious. Of course, if I am foolish enough to eat at home, Luna the Psychic Fried Chicken Addict (she’s a cat, remember?) will magically appear at my feet with wide eyes and eager anticipation of a handout. Luna will undoubtedly be swiftly followed by Zippy and then Ivy Anne will beg in last place. Each will get a portion of my comfort food cache.

Gee I wonder how they got so darn spoiled??

Oh yes my friends, there will be serious partying going on in Bear Swamp next week. I may even accidentally go to Family Dollar for a bag of Wise potato chips. That there’s soul food from when I was a kid on Long Island!! Never expected to find them in Beautiful West Michigan but I stumbled upon them a few years ago. Oh yeah, I almost forgot the Vernors ginger ale from the local Speedway gas station. They even let me buy Cheetos and the Reese’s crunchy chocolate bar things, Peanut M&Ms!!

I also may accidentally get an ice cream cone or two or twelve or perhaps nineteen.

I’ll been having a grand old time burping loudly and not even saying “Excuse me!” Ha ha on everyone who will not be present to enjoy my melodious belches!! Since you will not be invited to the belch party, please be aware that I do not intend to share my comfort foods with anyone but the three fur babies. It’s just too bad for the likes of youse!! Later on, I might even treat myself to a Marx Brothers movie!! And why not, my amazing partner and her friend will be over 700 miles away and they can’t stop me!! Nyaa nyaa na boo boo!!

This kind of partying is far superior to the kind I once… um.. enjoyed? I say, “enjoyed?” with a question mark because there were all too many times I was ingesting intoxicants under the premise of having fun, when in fact I was really harming myself. All that youthful partying began with fun, then fun became mixed with poor choices; produced serious problems.  The last portion of my journey into mind altered oblivion ushered in some even worse choices; so that part of the ride was anything but fun. I truthfully do NOT miss those times. Fortunately I received what I refer to as a “gift of desperation” that gave me the ability to find paths to recovery from drug and alcohol addiction. Life is very good these days, so my cholesterol party is more than enough enjoyment for me; thank you very much.

To paraphrase Robin from the 1960s Batman series, “Holy Cholesterol, Batman!!”

Several rock stars (and other folks of course) have had similar intoxicant partying journeys, all too many are dead. Most of the ones who survived, however, have changed their ways; and one guy by the name of Richard Starkey is a favorite of mine. His stage name is Ringo Starr, and he had some fun with part of his story in a catchy little tune known as “The No No Song.”