You know, food can be given lots of fancy names; but if it’s not prepared correctly it can be just plain bad. Worse yet, you can get sick!! At least, that’s what seems to have happened to me and one of my nice lady work friends.
A bunch of us work folks were invited to a “Team Dinner” at a fancy restaurant this past Thursday. It was a nice opportunity to meet a couple new folks; and also play catch-up with some old friends. We started off with the normal drinks… mine was coffee but others had something a bit stronger. Then came the appetizers. Not too bad… although my friend Jeff referred to the pate as “cat food.” I tasted a smidge, I think he may have been right.
Finally of course the time arrived to order our food. All the entrees on the menu had fancy French names… things like “Beef Bourguignon,” “Steak Frites,” and “Perch Meunier.” The first was what I ordered, sounded good by the description. However, the dish that was presented to me was basically pot roast nestled on top of a small bed of egg noodles. Beef was very tender but the gravy was a bit less than wonderful, in my professional opinion. When my friend Jeff was perusing the menu, he saw the perch dish and wondered aloud, “what the heck is Perch Manure??” We all had a chuckle and moved on.
I felt full but OK after the meal. The following day (yesterday) however, I had a terrible case of intestinal volcano. Also thought maybe I was going to barf. I mentioned this to my nice lady work friend and she said, “seriously?? Wow I thought I was the only one… when I got home I had to throw up!!” I tried to tough it out all morning but ended up going home early. I could no longer bear the pain in my guts… felt like someone was dragging a length of rusty barbed wire through my innards. And of course my added happiness was that I thought if I ate just one molecule of food I’d toss my cookies.
The next 18 hours were spent in bed, and when I got up to go potty I’d hit the home remedies of Vernors ginger ale, Altoids, and ginger pieces. Also charred some toast and had that… things were slightly improved but I was in great discomfort for several more hours. Here I am writing Happy Friday!!! on a Saturday night and I’m still not 100%.
My Beautiful girlfriend was out and about when I got home… I texted her and pleaded that she bring home some Vernors during her travels. When she got home she told me there was a bug going around. But my Lovely Nurse Wife Lady told me today, “I really think you had food poisoning.”
Guess maybe I should have had the Perch Manure.
So my friends, sorry I’m late, but Happy Saturday to you all!! “And now,” as Mr. Cleese used to say, “for something completely different.”