So there I was, reading about all the new spikes in COVID-19 cases throughout the land, then jumping up and running with great speed to the garden to do some weeding and maybe some picking; and no, I didn’t really jump or run because it’s CRAZY HOT OUTSIDE so it was really more of an amble, or perhaps a sashay, but even a sashay would take too much energy in this heat; and although this sentence is way too long I just don’t care because I’m the one who’s writing it and you’re the one who’s reading it so like who’s the real silly person now, right??

Ha ha on youse!!

Speaking of youse… are youse kids staying safe out there? Social distancing? Wearing your hands and washing your masks? Or maybe the reverse of that last one?? Well by golly I sure hope so. I know we are; and that of course means that my Beautiful Girlfriend and I have been very closely visiting with each other for the past um… 4 months I think. No going to the movies, no gatherings, and only able to hug a very select few family members because we are very certain that they are doing their part also. And yes, by doing their part I of course mean wearing a mask in public, washing their hands 6 feet apart, and socially distancing their hand sanitizers. Or something like that.

Don’t lick the counter tops at the store please.

Thankfully, my Lovely Bride has not yet removed my nostrils with a pitchfork due to any perceived wisecracks or nasty looks. And I’m hoping she is grateful that I have not put her Tupperware in the oven at 400 degrees just for that one thing she may or may not have said; or that eye-roll I may or may not have noticed. That’s not to say that we haven’t had any interludes of abrasive verbal stinkrot or spontaneously combustible annoyance. I mean hey, it’s not really likely that two people who are cooped up together for months will never have a tense day.

Especially if you’re married!!

But we’ve done pretty well I think. I can say that reliably because we’ve confessed our ornery ocky-pitoo poopenheimers to friends and family and both of us have reached the same conclusion: our spats have been very few and very brief.

One may well ask, “how do youse two kids remain so stinkin’ harmonious??” The answer to that is simple, really. We do really weird things that we’ve been doing for many years. We say, “please,” and “thank you.” We tell each other “I Love You” every day (OK, probably multiple times a day). We stay in tune with each other’s moods; and when we smell trouble we try to nip it in the stinkbag as quickly as possible. Communication. Kindness. Love. Things that probably should come naturally, but in reality these are skills that take practice and constant honing. And when we fall short, we do another really weird thing: apologize. And that is followed up by something even more really weird: we try not to make the same mistakes again. Reminds me of that ancient philosopher, Henny Youngman:

A guy goes to the doctor, moves his arm and says, “Doctor!! It hurts when I do this!!”

The doctor replies, “Don’t to that!!”

So this COVID stuff can be a test of all things human. But there really are no conundrums. All of us just need to work together, stay safe, and try really hard not to bite each other’s heads off.

Simple, right??