My Toes Are Curling!!

This getting old stuff is not for cowards. My Beautiful Girlfriend and I have so far enjoyed 67 trips around the Sun, which is pretty cool really. But we’ve noticed that as we grow older, our bodies continue to undergo some “interesting” changes. We often joke about these changes, which when lumped all together aren’t really all that funny. But hey, ya gotta laugh, right?

One of my “favorite” anecdotes about aging involves what I’ll abbreviate here as the “B.H.C.,” which stands for the Brain/Hiney Connection. I’ve joked to friends and relatives alike about it. When the conversation drifts toward the “joys” of growing older; I’ve been known to say, “I’m pretty sure my brain and my butt are connected somehow.” Then I get a few giggles and silly looks, and I go on to explain, “When I go into a room, I can’t remember why the HECK I went there. Then I go sit down, and AHA!! I remember now!!” The silly looks turn into more giggles, accompanied by, “I can relate!!”

On a more physical note, we’ve found we’re becoming increasingly thin-skinned. No, I don’t mean our feelings are hurt easily. Nope. But brush against a hard object with your arm and guess what? A booboo!! And not just a little scratch neither. What used to be a small encounter with an immovable object will now draw blood in one fell swoop. Just last weekend I went to the basement for an armful of firewood; and this light switch that’s mounted on the concrete wall jumped out at me and bit my arm in a very brash manner. Even though I wasn’t happy about the encounter, I said “Excuse me,” and continued on to the wood pile. The really cool part: I hardly noticed the owie. I mean I felt it, but shrugged it off because I didn’t think there was any damage. Then I go back upstairs and notice this dime-sized gouge in my arm that wants to bleed pretty nicely. Time to reach for the triple antibiotic ointment and Band-Aids!

Getting up off the couch has become a symphony of groans and the old Kellogg’s refrain of “Snap! Crackle! Pop!” Joints get “stuck” when trying to reach for an object. A little wiggling sets the joints free… so far (hopefully that will continue). And then there’s the change in position of various body parts. “My toes are curling!” my Lovely Bride exclaimed today while we were lounging with our feet up. “And they’re spreading apart!!” “They look OK to me,” I replied. “Well you don’t have to live with them!!” she retorted. “I dunno Honey, I’ve been living with your toes for a long time now.” I snickered.

We both had a nice laugh.

And why is it that hair grows better out of my nose, ears and eyebrows than off the top of me head?? I think maybe I could start a new senior fashion trend by letting my eyebrows grow long and just comb them back for more hair on top. And perhaps the nostril hair is an invitation for beneficial insects to have free lodging. Am I hearing more poorly because of all the hair in my ears?? And why is there less hair on the noggin and more hair on the belly and chest?? A rather strange phenomenon, don’t you think?? I think I’ll call it “FM” – Follicular Migration. Yes, I’m beginning to think those mischievous little hair follicles are in a plot to give me an increasingly shiny scalp; and they band together and do little parades from my head bone to other parts of my body. The scalp gets balder and the belly and chest get little fuzz forests that were never there before.

This aging stuff!! These are all terrible things to happen to gentle people like us!!

In spite of all the weird changes, we continue to enjoy more trips around the sun. Each birthday is, of course, a bigger number and leaves us a bit awestruck for a bit; but overall we are very grateful. Of course we have some health challenges in our house, but we often give thanks that we are very blessed. We are basically in pretty good shape. And believe me, our prayers go out to those who face greater health challenges than we do.

So if you’re still a kid (under 50) and reading this, get ready for a really interesting ride!! We’ll be rooting for ya!! When we’re not laughing, I mean.

Well when I grow up, I wanna be like Grampy!!