Have you ever had one of those days/weeks/months where you are trying your best to try, but try as you might, you just can’t seem to have enough energy to try all the things you’d like to try?
So in honor of my days/weeks/month of having too many radioactive lima beans lodged in my nether regions, I hereby proclaim that this edition of “Happy Friday!!!” will consist of randomly generated thoughts that came from my headbone, and not any silly Fartificial Intelligence (FI). I will number these thoughts so you can refer back to them at any time, unless of course you have no time, in which case I suggest you buy a compass, speedometer, or perhaps even a wristwatch to get some time under your belt. Or on your wrist.
Here you go then. These random thoughts will be topical in nature, alpha-erratically enumerated, and placed in no particular order.
1. Foraging – I envision a small pepper clown foraging in the wilderness. There it will find invisible ink with which to write secret recipes. I hope there are also returnable bottles available for spare change!!
L. Muffins – Come over to our house and enjoy some dust muffins we made several weeks ago. We’ll wash them down with a nice hot cup of Cream of Toenail soup; then run wildly to the nearest receptacle. We’ll have fun!!
8. Eyebrows – I rarely apply varnish to my eyebrows anymore, but when I do, they are oh so shiny!! Note: do NOT apply eyebrow varnish while walking through a swarm of bees!!
They get stuck and will sting until they get loose, resulting in a condition known as “puffbrow.”
11. Drywall – Looks like I’ll need to stop eating drywall chips. I thought they would help my tummy, but now my hiney seems to think it wants to be a building contractor.
V&. Chipmunks – I’ve tried in vain to teach chipmunks how to run my lawn tractor. However, I quickly learned that when it comes to machines, chipmunks do not know their holes from a hiney on the ground.
@. Northern Lights – When I listen closely, I can smell the Northern Lights. This is especially enjoyable during The Combustible Stinkweather Festival.
0. Bandersnag – I’m searching for bandersnag seeds so I can make yummy casseroles to sell online. So: if you know anyone who remembers Johnny Wumpo And The Fleebs, please keep it to yourself. Thank you.
2z. Stereo – A recent study has in no way shown that 13% of all octopus habitats are lacking in modern stereo equipment.
Bu! Memories – Remember that one time when we never ate moth balls under the bleachers at Zoot Stadium? Oh… those were never the days.
Red. Accordion – Every time I eat a lot of beans, my digestive system becomes very aware of the thunder snacks and reacts accordingly. This has nothing to do with my inability to play the accordion.
K$. Hug Ouch – I’ve always thought porcupines were cute, but nobody ever told me not to hug one. Please bring pliers and disinfectant.
!!r. Seminars – To supplement my retirement income, I’ll be conducting seminars on such valuable topics as “Befriending Small Appliances,” and “Booger Removal Techniques.” To sign up, please send an e-mail and method of payment to firstname.lastname@example.org
Giblet R. Snoofhorten
OK, that’s probably enough for now. At this time I leave you with the following final thought: Happy Friday to you all!!! May your ears enjoy delicious flavors; and may your nostrils flutter softly in the breeze.
Peace, Love, and Hugs,