A horribly beautiful, terrible but remarkable, and yet pretty amazing thing happened last week: our water heater died. One may well ask, “how can the death of a water heater conjure so many adjectives in one sentence?” Of course, one (or even two) may not ask that at all. I mean who really cares, right? Water heaters croak… new ones are only guaranteed for 6 years and are expected to last for maybe 10 to 15 years.

So what’s the big deal? Well, we knew our 80 gallon Hotpoint water heater was old when we bought the house way back in 1982. This was when dinosaurs roamed the earth and people communicated over long distances with tin cans connected with string. What we didn’t know until this past Monday was that our trusty old water heater was built in 1952!!! I mean, this thing was born before us!! Sixty-five years ago!! I told the installer, “hey maybe we should keep it, it’s eligible for Medicare!!” One friend on that BookFace thing on the interwebs said it might be a world record for water heater longevity.

As I watched the poor “kids” (when you’re in your 60s, “kids” are anyone 30 years old or less) haul the disconnected monster out of the basement, I couldn’t help but reflect on the throw-away world we’ve built around us. Too many things have obsolescence built into them; because hey, business depends on sales, and sales don’t happen when things last forever. That may be good for sales but it’s not very good for our planet.

However, I do know from experience that there are a few companies on this planet who make things that last a long time; but in my professional opinion those are few and far between. Toyota is one of those companies. They believe that business should be sustainable; not just growth oriented. Toyota makes some of the longest lasting cars on the road; and that’s what brings customers back. They certainly sold me; the 2003 Corolla I bought brand new has well over 300,000 miles on it. We don’t know how many miles it’s gone exactly, because a factory defect for that model year prevents the speedometer from going any farther than 299,999 miles. The body is still in very good shape, and it runs like brand new.

Lots of folks chase the newest, shiniest toys: cell phones, cars, TVs, etc. My Beautiful Girlfriend and I are happy to live in the Stone Age with our old cars, landline phone, and antenna TV. So basically we are weirdos; and we like it. Our favorite thing about all our stuff is that we own it. We have zero debt. Nada. Zip. Nibbit. Blazoo. Well OK those last two “words” aren’t words, but as I said, we are weirdos. So now if my Honey Pie is reading this I’m gonna get in trouble; so let me clarify: she’s very practical and I’m the weirdo. After all, I’m the one who makes up silly words and flings them out on the interwebs for all to see.

I rather doubt this new water heater will last 65 years. Maybe, just maybe, it will outlive us; but I’m not counting on it. No, they just don’t make ’em like they used to… and sometimes that’s a good thing. They don’t make music like they used to either… and now it’s time for me to share some of my favorite “oldies” with you.

Enjoy!

Ever have a time when you think you’ve heard everything, then another weird announcement buzzes about on the news and the interwebs? A very sad announcement that came out recently was the addition of the rusty-patched bumblebee to the endangered species list. Unfortunately, climate change, the widespread use of pesticides, herbicides, and destruction of habitat does not exactly render this announcement as mysterious.

One of the weirdest follow-ups to the endangered bee story was the proposal to use robotic “bees” to aid in pollination of crops. I’m not kidding about this; there are actual efforts in progress to perfect a robotic bee!! This announcement made me even more sad than the prospective loss of bee populations. While some might find robo-bees to be a fascinating credit to modern science, my strong belief is that such inventions do much more harm than good to our environment as a whole.

Human nature, it seems, is always looking for a magical way out of difficult and complex problems. I’d much rather hear more information about how to save our bees; not replace them with machines. After all, our bees, along with many other species, are endangered because of the poisoning of our planet. All the man-made materials used to make robo-bees and other drone type flying machines are produced at no small cost to the environment.

One report I read speaks about using robo-bees in conjunction with real bees to achieve better coverage of crops needing pollination. Seems to me these “geniuses” are missing something very important: robo-bees have tiny propellers. What happens when they collide with a real bee? I’m guessing the bee loses a leg or two, or three, or an eye, or… well you see what I mean. So, we’re already losing bees to other environmental stressors, and now we have scientists who want to surround them with tiny little helicopters?? Oy yoy yoy.

Thankfully, when people learn that bumblebees are endangered, lots of folks want to know what to do to save them. At least, I sure hope they do. My Beautiful Girlfriend and I have been raising food organically for going over 40 years; so many of the techniques are second nature to us.

Here are some simple things everyone can do to help bees thrive:

1. Buy organically grown produce whenever possible. This ensures that pesticides and / or herbicides were not part of the farming process. In the past, organic fruits and vegetables were an anomaly at the stores, now they’re very commonplace and price competitive. That’s because normal folk became interested in knowing how their food was grown.
2. Plant wildflowers and / or flowering trees. Simple, right? Seriously, plant flowers, especially away from where you’re going to mow. Everyone knows that will help the bees. Try to be especially sensitive to the fact that bees need to feed all season long; so different types of flowers can be selected to ensure there is food available during the entire feeding season.
3. Weeds can be very beneficial. Say what?? That’s right… a lawn full of dandelions or clover is a veritable buffet for bees. Many other, taller growing weeds have flowers that bees depend on (please refer back to item # 2).
4. Do not use pesticides or herbicides in your garden or lawn. These are poison to many forms of life, of which bees are a small group. Too much of the public has been bombarded with chemical solutions for pest and weed management. Speaking from a gardener’s perspective, I would rather see a crop fail than to use poisons to control pests. However, by learning techniques like companion planting and crop rotation, I’ve been blessed with many beautiful harvests of all sorts of vegetables.
5. Work to preserve habitats. You know that old hollow tree out back? Should have been cut down years ago, yes? Well maybe not: hollow trees provide shelter for bees and other pollinators. Bumblebees will burrow into the ground, so if there are any mounds or abandoned burrows from rabbits, etc., pay attention; the bees may be nesting there.

Long story longer, if we just take a little more time learning about what Mother Nature needs from us, we can help her stay healthy. And if our Mother Earth is healthy, there will be no need for robo-bees. So please, don’t bee a robot. Don’t assume that pesticides and herbicides are safe. If you don’t grow your own, learn where your food comes from and how it is grown. And by all means, let your representatives know your concerns about keeping our environment clean and healthy for all creatures.

Sorry, science kids, robo-bees are not natural!!

Maybe if all bees could be like the one who stood up to Donald Duck; they’d have a fighting chance…

Today’s political hoopla gave me deep sadness… I’m still not finding any sense in it all. A womanizing, bullying egomaniac with deep insecurities rose to the highest office in the land; and those who elected him are somehow able to be completely oblivious to his deep-rooted character flaws.

So far, the only cabinet pick I’ve seen who’s anywhere close to being qualified is General Mattis. For someone who claimed to want to “drain the swamp” when coming to Washington, President Trump surely has picked some nasty leeches for the rest of the cabinet. For those of you who don’t know, leeches are blood suckers who stick to your legs when you go wading in the swamp. Unfortunately, too many of Mr. Trump’s cabinet picks are rich people who know little about the office for which they’ve been selected; but they all have an agenda that, if left unchecked, will likely undo a mountain’s worth of progress that’s been made since World War II ended. Don’t let them fool you, they don’t care what we “little people” have to say. Rather, they are all out for personal gain.

I’m beginning to feel numb inside… but I’m not going to allow that to fester. None of this makes sense to me; but then again all of it does. My Mother used to jokingly say “no sense, no feelin’ “ if one of us fell down but didn’t react much from the pain. Well much of the politics these days makes no sense. But for the no feelin’ part… well… as you may have guessed this post is not gonna be a very Happy Friday.

So I’ll make this short and sweet: I believe it’s our duty as free citizens for EVERYONE to please pay close attention to what’s going on and be ready to speak out loudly and repetitively when our values start getting dragged into the swampy muck. We all need to speak up for equality and decency, and speak OUT against hatred and division.

Some of us remember a similar time; and we have songs, many of which are still being sung today, to remind us.

Gonna be a long four years. Long Time Gone…

Let’s work together.

We don’t want to let it slip through our fingers.

We don’t have to be famous to make a difference. The Revolution Will Not Be Televised.

Our department got some pretty sad news this past Monday. Jobs that currently belong to nine of my work friends will be outsourced beginning early next year. Wasn’t really a surprise to me. After working in the corporate universe for nearly 40 years; one acquires a feel for such things. The sad result, of course, is the disruption my friends will experience. And I, being a caring kind of guy, feel very badly for them. Call me idealistic, but in my professional opinion, it doesn’t have to be this way. Corporations can make their money and still make employees feel valued. With rare exception though, this is not the way of the corporate world.

But what do I know??

At least my friends are getting a couple months notice. That could be considered kind. I’m sure there will be a cost savings to the company to have an outside service replace these employees. In the process, the Upper Crust always seems to make sure their pockets are nicely lined with large bonuses. Of course, this isn’t unique to our company, it’s become common all over the world. Importance of profits far outweigh any concern for the employees’ well being. If it weren’t for labor unions, we underlings would be treated even worse than we are now.

Reminds me of the Dr. Seuss book, “The Lorax.” The character called the Once-ler is confronted about the damages done by the rampant growth of his business. His company’s fortune thrives on materials taken from Truffula trees, which also happen to be the primary food source for creatures called the Bar-ba-loots. As the Truffula trees are over harvested, the Bar-ba-loots begin to starve, and suffer from “Crummies in tummies.”

The Once-ler’s response: “…business is business! And business must grow, regardless of Crummies in Tummies you know.”

Business is business… ain’t that the truth??

Of course, those of us whose necks missed the chopping block can’t help but wonder who’s next. Nobody loves these kinds of changes, including me. However, I’m getting a little better at keeping the negative fire storms out of my head. Being annoyed and sad is already uncomfortable enough. My magnifying mind can, if let loose, really run with all this and build a grudge that becomes harmful to me and those around me. Fortunately, over the years I’ve learned that if I allow anger and resentment to fester in my heart, I’m basically poisoning myself. Being livid about things over which I have no control is about as effective as eating a poison pill and expecting someone else to die.

I’ve been talking to my friends at work about all this stuff. When I consider out loud about if (or more likely when) it will be my turn; they offer suggestions like finding an IT head hunter or maybe doing computer consulting work. Bless them… they’re concerned for me. When they’re done I mention that I’ve been a slave to technology for over 40 years. I thank them warmly and let them know in no uncertain terms that I’m really ready to do something a little different. I’d like to do something that may pay less but will feed my soul. Perhaps somewhere like Goodwill, and help those less fortunate than me become a bit more self-sufficient. Possibilities are only limited by how open my mind will be.

In the meantime, I’ll show them (the corporate big shots)!! I’m gonna continue to work at the job and try to be happy!! So there!! I’m going to try to avoid dipping into the poison pot about corporate dysfunction. After all, the only thing I have any control over is how I react to all these “wonderful” things that are changing at the workplace.

When my serenity alarm goes off, I need to remind myself to run through my “gratitude list.” I am healthy and I have the love of a beautiful woman. She even let me marry her! We have cars that work, a nice home, plenty to eat. We have loving relationships with our offspring, relatives and friends. Life really is good in our universe.

No poison pill for me thanks. We all have the right to be happy, and I’ve been taught the only way to achieve that is to take care of myself.  I need to make gratitude my attitude.  I need to say “thank you” to The People Upstairs (whoever they are) regularly.  Sometimes it takes a bit of work to pull it off, but life is much more peaceful when I succeed.

Can you tell I’m practicing?

OK.  Time for a chuckle… I did some hunting and found this gem by Monty Python.  Definitely relates to the topic!  But again, that’s just my professional opinion…

Once upon a time there was a dog named Musky Da Husky who is still alive and sheds enough hair to upholster 3 or 4 minivans with a nice layer of Fido Fluff. The family who adopted him has been driving a brand new, 2001 Chrysler Town & Country minivan for a little over 5 years. There was nothing special about this vehicle, but it served the family well and it became known as “The Mutt-Mobile” because it was the only car in which Musky Da Husky was allowed. And boy howdy did he do a good job of shedding all over the seats. Holy Dog Hair, Batman!!

Riding in the summer was always interesting, because the only air conditioning the Mutt-Mobile employed was the old reliable 4-60 (4 windows open at 60 MPH). When it was a nice sunny day and the windows were first opened, a very visible swirl of Musky’s Mop Fibers would dance around the interior of the car. Sometimes the fluffy tufts would brush past our nostrils or mouths; which would commence an interesting round of “ptoo!” “Flarf!” and maybe “Pllleethhh!” in vain attempts to expel the fibers from our air passages.

We became pretty accustomed to the fuzzy cyclones for the most part. Because the van was not exactly pristine, we could really give a rip about the status of the seats, etc. Once in a great while we’d embark on an outing with friends, and because we had the largest car I would have to break down and spend an hour or so with the shop-vac to try to get a few bales of hair out. Husky hair is amazing stuff, though, and it seems to burrow into the upholstery. Therefore, no matter how much one tries, there are always some residual strands that seem to jump out and cling to your friends’ coats as they take their seats.

Ah well, they love us unconditionally. I think…

When one buys a used car with 130,000 miles on it, sooner or later some trouble can be expected to surface. We had to take care of normal stuff like tires, exhaust, serpentine belt; you know, stuff like that there. However, during these past few months some much nastier automotive demons have reared their ugly heads. One of our “favorites” was that age-old problem that seems to plague many Chrysler products: the transmission started to flake out. Our friendly service person at Z Transmission Service was able to give it some extra life for a whopping $80; but he warned me not to drive it too far from home. That was about 3 months ago; and even though it would act silly it got us where we wanted to go. But we are not completely naive, and we vowed that the next big repair bill would signal the demise of the Mutt-Mobile.

So there we were, minding our own business, on our way to have dinner with friends, when the Mutt-Mobile she cough and snork and sputter and now I think my engine will die and you better get over to the side of the freeway and no I’m not gonna start no more I’m dead I tell you, I’m dead already, and sure go ahead and try it, ha ha on you the battery is crap, don’t you remember you didn’t want to replace it but you need those extra crankings now you silly man and it doesn’t matter this piece of Dog Doody ain’t gonna go no more so nyaa nyaa na boo boo; and those of you who read this silly blog thing were maybe wondering if Kenny was ever going to slide in another run-on sentence so there you go and wow it was a long one!

Our wonderful son came to our rescue, and after unsuccessfully trying to jump the van; we all hopped into the alternate Mutt-Mobile (my brand new 2003 Racing Corolla) and the 3 humans met our friends for dinner while Musky Da Husky slept in the car. After dinner I got on the phone with a towing company I’ve used for years; and $75 later the Mutt-Mobile was parked in our driveway by the nice wrecker driver. Just before he left, he asked, “what year is that?” “2001,” I replied. “I might want to buy it for parts if you’re just gonna junk it.”

Well that’s nice!! So I told him I’d go to www.damagedcars.com and see what they would offer. Their price was a whopping $230, which included pickup. I talked to several friends at work about the ordeal, and they said, “you can get more than that from a scrap yard!” But then of course I’d have to get it to the scrap yard somehow.

As it turned out, my wife knew the nice man who delivered our dead Mutt-Mobile to our driveway. Well she knows his wife anyway. If he can use the van for parts, it’s a win-win situation as far as I’m concerned. Sure I could have finagled a better deal… maybe. But we are firm believers that what goes around, comes around. More is not necessarily better.  In other words, we were very aware that all the events to this point made it very clear that The People Upstairs were taking care of us. It was only right that we should help someone else if we could. So the fact that we were able to get $200 was, in reality, pennies from heaven.

At least, that’s my two cents.

So just to emphasize how old I am, here’s one of my favorites.  Well OK, two of my favorites… the song and the singer!